Mental Blabberings

sick and tired i am sick and tired of the things that have been going on in my mind, and frankly i won't take any more of it. it's time for a change and hell, change will happen. i'll just keep balbbering in the following days outlining the changes that i will be making. and for now, i just want to remind myself that the only thing constant in the world is change.

anonimyty don't you kust love to be anonymous? when you really need a break, getting anonymous is the way to go. you should try it out, because it can either 1) let you know how fun it is to be another person (or not you... ;)) or 2) let you know how fun it is to be you, and miss it a lot. of course, you might be too full of yourself when you you realize that hey, i would like to be me again. but then most of us are, full of ourselves. i mean, who else would you want to be when you feel great as yourself? after all, you just wanted an escape. but then it is really nice to be involved with other people without them knowing who you really are. i mean, you would be starting with a clean state and be able to make that first impression that is so crucial to everyone. but alas, you return to your old life, and feel either refreshed or depressed. but then what do you ask for, a new identity? that would be too much. after all, you were just out for an escape. =) just chilli

bring me down things and people bring me down, at the same time pull me up. these actions acutually cancel each other out, but it's hard to get the hang of always being pulled in two directions literally. one direction is towards the path of sheer failure, inadvertent incompetence and the so called easy way out. this is the most enticing path you could be offered at any given time -- a shortcut is always shorter than the shortest long cut. the other direction is towards the path of glorification, fame, and pure satisfaction. it is nice to work hard for your merits or points, and it sure is easier to bask in the glory of a job well done. it is like the feeling you get after scaling a mountain that almost took your life while at it. there are always forces like these similar in every situation -- if you knew a shortcut, would you go that route, or would you rather work for it the usual 'hard' way? i'm a masochist, so there should be no problem in making th

dillema i am not very good at making choices between any two things to choose from. i also have a hard time letting go of something i've gotten used to for something else. i think other people have this problem too, and i hope they all do a better job than i do. i know it's not easy to be in the middle of two paths, and have to choose any one of the two. and im not getting any help from anybody yet. do you know how it is to love two people but just having one heart? there's a song in the Philippines about that -- "sana dalawa ang puso ko" . but i guess i just have to get away from both, and see which one of them i really do love. but for now, i'm basking in the air of loving everybody -- so that now, i'm not being forced to choose just yet. oh well, maybe everybody has to get to a crossroad some point in their lives. keep it cool! =)

off to find the hero of the day sometimes all we need is someone who could take us from our usual routine, and help us get through with life by being a hero. a hero of the day -- one that saves your day but not necessarily your life. we all get these phases in life where we just plainly get bored. i have no explanation to this phenomenon, which i so lazily label as a natural hybernation or inactivity of the excitement gland. of course, i would be kidding because i have no idea of the terms and practices applied by psychologists. but then it just occurs to be so natural we don't need to explain it. we have our needs, and we get excited in our own little ways. but then sometimes, the needs don't get to be exciting except if there was something special in that need. what would be an exciting need -- food, shopping, sex, etc. go figure, but then i'm off to find the hero of the day. one that would save my day from utter boredness, and take my life to some more inter