Mental Blabberings

busy busy busy... priorities, preferences, and pressure. the three P's that give me the X's. i've had to drop a few things that i think i should've dropped a long time ago. but now, the change is so sudden, that i'll need a break to adjust. new priorities, new preferences, and new pressures have taken form in my life. these changes are far too important to postpone, and being in the state of transition kinda gives me a very uneasy feeling. i'm not used to too much change all at the same time, mainly because it messes up my rythm too much. i hope the people around me notice it, and take it constructively like i do. but unfortunately, most people don't. i feel very sorry that i havent been able to give my time to the people that i used to spend my time with. now, i'm spending my time with new people, making new bonds, and wishing that the old bonds haven't been broken yet. but inevitably, change is the constant factor in life -- which make

beer, cigarettes, music, and crap. it has been another one of those nights when yours truly had an encounter with the college stuff that keeps sanity in your college life. but not all people in college need beer, cigarettes, music, and crap to survive -- it just so happens that you also got to have fun. ok, all of the given do not bring fun on themselves. usually, its a combination of any of the three and company -- any kind of company would do. you don't believe me? you better try it out. but dont take my word for it, i havent had too much of any of the above. just in case you have gotten too much of any of the three, please look at the link at the left side bar and email me. i'd like to know from other people how you could get too much of these and never have enough. it suddenly sounds like i didn't have fun last night -- and you guessed it, i didn't. the usual stuff really gets boring, especially if you tend to think start thinking of it as the usual stu

placeholder just so that i could blog something here, i'm gonna tell you all htat it has been a hectic day. of course it would be nice that everybody else knew that it was a hectic day, so i'm shutting my case down. :) have a nice one! :)

meet me at... time is gold. going from one place to another more often than not takes time -- time which you could otherwise spend doing something else. but due to some reason, you have to inevitably waste time travelling. but who said you had to waste it? being productive doesn't always mean doing the most with your time -- although that i think is what it's supposed to mean. being productive also means knowing when to take a break, as well as when to stop altogether. after all, to much production in very little time causes surplus -- and nobody needs surplus. i discovered this the hard way, when almost all the work i did brought me very little, and sometimes nothing. although satisfaction gained from a job well done is no match for compensation and moolah. but then sometimes, you don't get the luxury of both, so have to make do with what you could have and get. after all, you gain some, and you lose some. but it's very unfair to say that not everyone can

solo. have you ever been alone, yet have fun? i know i have. but i also know that i haven't. sure, you get to meet a lot of other people when we go out and live our normal lives, as well as go out of our way and try and live a life that's not ours. we try to do the best we can at what we do, but sometimes, it isn't just good enough. when you end up being alone and at the same state you previously were is so frustrating that it really hurts. but after all, it's not easy to become the best of anything, but you should cut yourself some slack and feel good that at least you tried. but lets say you do feel good that you do your best, what do you get? yes, i read your mind -- nothing. aside from that artificial ego boost you get when you try your best and not make the cut, you get more hot air into you than a gigantic baloon the size of two elephants. and hot air doesn't get you anywhere fast. of course anyone could need some air in them -- to inflate that de

ah, the thrills in life... being busy is really something. yuu just can't seem to get a hold of the time you spend, and you tend to do things you aint supposed to do. or, you tend to do something you have to do but then you forget to stop. one very clear example is reading. some people's hobby, like me, is reading, while some people take it more seriously than that. some people read novels, others read newspapers, and weirdly, i read technical reports, theses, and technical reviews. doesn't sound like a very enticing hobby eh? but then i tend to eat up hours and hous of my time reading stuff i dont need to read. one other thing is talking. some people like talking, and some people are just forced to talk one way or another. like some people, i tend to like talking -- and sometimes talking too much. talking too much kinda becomes an escape, and more like a recreation than a chore at times. and believe me, talking has become a chore one too many times. so what

broken biological clock a lot of things can scew your life up. especially if you dedicate your time to some purpose, and then after giving it your all, and the purpose has been met (or you suddenly lose interest in the purpose), you tend to realize that hey, you dont have anything left to do. giving your all in an activity that you previously enjhoyed is very rewarding -- at first. then you tend to seek that activity because for the most part, it gave you some sort of direction, purpose, goal... i'm a very busy person, because i choose to be busy. i dont ask for the work, i take on the work. i dont ask for the challenges, i take them. i dont ask for the pain, i just take it. having to stop what you like doing is very painful for me. to me, that is the worst sacrifice anybody should have to give. doing something that you dont want to do is plain stupid, but sometimes is necessary -- which more often than not we have nothing we can do about. obligation doesn't include t