Mental Blabberings

The past couple of months I've been asked at least twice now whether I was willing to write a book. It's no secret that I love to write -- after all they got to me through my blogs. I don't think of myself as a great writer, I just happen to write a lot I guess (and edit myself out of oblivion). I've been trained (kinda) to write essays and do creative writing when I was in high school. This is the kind of thing I enjoyed doing throughout my high school years. I'm definitely thankful to all my teachers who've encouraged me to keep improving and just keep writing. I personally hold books to very high regard and this is why I've turned down all the offers to write a book. I don't see myself as someone who has a lot of original things to say or as an expert on anything. However, I then find this video which is totally changing my mind. This isn't something I've endeavored to do in my life. However what I have endeavored to do is to make a differe

There's a cliché that goes something like "Every journey starts with a single step"  and I think it's not been said enough. Thanks to the messages of encouragement and support I've received from friends and family from all parts of the world my journey towards better coping and moving on is well under way. Before I go any further I would like to say thank you to everyone who prayed and sent their well wishes for us . I am humbled and grateful for the support I have received from all those who took the time to help me feel better. The first step for me was trying to figure out how I really felt. I couldn't do this while there were a lot of things going on around me. I needed to step away -- literally, took myself out alone for a long run -- and clear my mind. I had a lot of questions but not many answers. This journey I took alone for a couple of hours allowed me to breathe, get tired, feel pain, and identify how I really felt. I couldn't write about how

I've not been writing for a long time already but this time I can't keep this to myself. There's been too much happening to me and my family the past few days that I need an outlet. I've tried talking it out, being silent, and crying it out. Right now though I'm numb. I don't know whether I can keep this to myself and if I do I don't think it will be a good thing. Maybe other people have had the same experience or at least gone through the same thing. Maybe just the act of writing this out is going to be enough to make me feel something. There was a time in my life that I had thought I've been through everything. I thought everything that can happen to me would be something I can deal with. There was no doubt in my mind that I can handle anything. Unfortunately this latest one that happened to me and my wife wasn't something I was prepared for. Nor was I ready to deal with it in a manner that was controlled or well-thought out. I thought maybe if I

When I was younger in life I wanted to achieve more. I had a list of things I wanted to be able to do. I also had a list of places I wanted to go. People I wanted to meet. Foods I wanted to eat. Today though, as I near my 29th birthday I find myself not wanting more -- instead I'm wanting less. I no longer feel this need to achieve things that I thought were important. A lot of things in my life now seem more important than the achievements, the places to go, food to eat, and experiences to tick off my list. Instead I find myself now wanting to enjoy what I have more than getting more. At this point in my life, I look back at who I was and I realize that the person I wanted to be wasn't really the person I'd like to become. I used to think that if I made more money, or lived in a certain place, or lived a certain kind of lifestyle, that I would be happier and more fulfilled. Instead now I'm happier just spending time with my daughter, sleeping in on a Sunday, not putt

I'm anxious to see my lovely wife and daughter again soon. I miss them so much. The Reasons I do what I do.

I used to think that life would not be as much fun if there weren't a lot of things going on. I felt that there was this need to fill every hour or every minute with something. I always felt the need to always have something to do. Now I've changed my mind and cherish the simplicity of many things and sometimes, nothingness. It's so liberating to feel no pressure to always be doing something. It's also very liberating to be able to enjoy life in a natural pace. It also means I can enjoy life more and focus on the things that matter.

I'm a big fan of Jeff Jarvis and I just read this amazing single. He makes the case that Johannes Gutenberg is the prototypical startup geek -- the model for a technology entrepreneur. It's not a long read, it's a few thousand pages long, but it's also just $0.99 from the Kindle Store. It's less than what you'll pay for to get a full-blown paper but you'll get a very well-written and compelling article (maybe a chapter for a book, or a foreword, or an editorial). If you have a dollar to spare (who doesn't?) please go get this and read it through your Kindle or even through the cloud reader. If you find his writing enjoyable to read, I also suggest his other books: Im currently reading "Public Parts" and although I already kinda do live in public, I still find very compelling and intriguing ideas in this book. I've also already read "What Would Google Do?" and I dare say that he's done a very good job of analyzing the i

So earlier in the year I resolved to write about something on a weekly basis. Unfortunately I have failed that particular resolution. I thought I would have been able to write about something once a week -- that I would be able to get time to write about something interesting to me for any given week. Unfortunately it's not the time that's the problem: it's the motivation. I have found that more and more I did not need to write about what I thought more now that I think and read more than I need to express myself. I have found that in the past two months I had little need to share my thoughts about the world. However though now I find myself writing about not writing which is a little bit of an oxymoron. Let me share with you a few reasons why.

It's just been a couple of days since the end of the ISO C++ Committee meeting held at Kona, Big Island, Hawai'i. I have quite a numer of experiences with so many people from different parts of the world who have been using and influencing the direction of the C++ programming language for a long time already. Meeting some of my heroes is definitely a memorable experience -- and it happening in Hawai'i the first time I've ever gone there makes it doubly unforgettable. Going there I never thought I would have a chance to have an informal meeting with the creator of C++ (Bjarne Stroustrup) and even share some surreal experiences with him and a few other members of the C++ committee. It involved belly dancers and the beer that never came -- like someone in the group said, it was a surreal experience. I can't possibly write about every detail but I can share a few things I picked up: Kona is awesome. C++ is alive, well, and growing. There are exciting things

Today I'm headed to Kona, Hawaii to attend the ISO C++ Committee meeting. I'm looking forward to finally be able to meet some my personal heroes that have shaped the programming language that I've been using for 14 years now. I have one paper that will be discussed in the committee hopefully to be revised so that it's acceptable to most people in the committee. I'm thoroughly excited to be going to Hawaii for the first time ever! It should prove to be an experience of a lifetime. I'll write more when I get there. Until then, Aloha!

Happy Australia Day! Although I'm not an Australian I definitely understand why people who live here love it so much. Today was the day I went really adventurous and took the road less traveled. And today is the day I found out my favorite running route. Today I also found out that running with other people and keeping a pace is definitely much more enjoyable than running alone. This run report won't go into too much details as the last one, but I point out a few observations. Read on if you're interested in the details.

Drenched after running in the rain! So I went out running today and had my personal distance best! 7 kilometers around Ashfield, and I'm really happy that I'm able to get past the 5km mark. I've been running exactly 5km or less recently and today I made a decision to just keep running until I felt like I wanted to stop. This was a pretty special run for me because it was the first time I've ever run in the rain! I've changed things up a bit too and started listening to music on the run (courtesy of Rdio which is now available in Australia!) which made it a lot more pleasant than my previous runs.

One of my favorite activities is analyzing and performing experiments in my head. There are a few tough questions that I kind of think deeply about when I'm on the train, on the plane, running, or when I have long swaths of time where I'm alone. I tend to ask questions like "how do we know what's right and what's wrong" or "why do people generally mind their own business when they're in the train" or questions like "if we were to rebuild society again (for whatever reason) what would that new society be like given current knowledge and technological capabilities". I don't intend to post my thoughts about these questions -- those are for a different time -- but I do think it's healthy to be asking these questions even to just yourself.

It's yet another year and for me it's time to try and level up. Instead of doing the usual "here are my resolutions for 2012" I'm going a different route: go meta and look at things from a different perspective. Instead of writing out specific things, I would go more conceptual and broader. I'll also go deeper and hold myself to a higher standard than I usually did when writing blog posts. So without further ado, here's my high level view of what I want to accomplish and expand for 2012.