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Showing posts from May, 2003
bad timing...

when you get to know people, you have so mcuh time in the world to wait until you know what happens next. but sometimes, there's no continuation. nothing after the initial hi/hello.

i've been contemplating on a certain event in my life when i was in hollywood. i was approached by two ladies, tracy and amber. they were really friendly -- not to mention young, gorgeous, and game. and instead of ceasing the moment, i chickened out. i didn't even get their numbers. poor me.

what should i have done? i should have gotten their numbers at least. after all, what have i got to lose? i was alone, and they approached me. they even wanted to have my beads, but that's a different story. but then i got to thinking that there was one particular reason why i chickened out.

it was the girl i loved so dearly. even though we were not in a relationship, i couldn't stop thinking about her during that time. she was all that was on my mind. i saw what i wanted to see, and no…
exploit?

i've been hearing and reading a lot of things regarding exploitation and taking advantage, and even molestation. however, i'm in no position to comment on them -- until i actually tried studying one.

after reading a paper posted by Florian Weimer regarding the possible exploitable code in the linux kernel, i went ahead and did some digging. and this was the initial product of my investigation. keep posted on the fix i might try and submit to the kernel developers regarding the exploitable code in the linux kernel. so i think that makes me a hacker. :)

on something more relevant, today (or yesterday) i had a consultation with my thesis adviser regarding my thesis proposal and what i really wanted to do. and by God's grace, it was approved. although the paper is still to follow, this is a good start for me.

until i actually finish the paper, i won't be giving details away. however, please email me if you want to get more information or if you're interested in…
no pain, no gain

i am taking a time out on my weightlifting/bodybuilding routine, because i feel sore. literally. :)

anyway, i believe in the saying that with no pain, there's no gain. i'm some sort of masochist, in the sense that i cannot feel anything until i feel pain. i am happy in some extent when i feel pain, because i feel alive.

i believe that pain itself is a gain -- pain that comes with anything you do is a consequence of your action. this you gain for doing something, or some else doing something, or even something happening. feeling is very important, and one of the most moving and important feelings is the feeling of pain.

so my chest muscles are getting bigger -- i see the difference after just about a month and some of bench presses and a whole slew of chest exercises. i cannot gain this without the pain i feel right now. they're really sore! :)

well, again, no pain no gain.

chill...
some things to think about...

generally, im an intellectual person who gets a kick out of intellectual challenges. however, i am also a social critique and i'm not liking what i'm seeing.

as an intellectual person, i value knowledge and intellect very much. attempts to stop learning and stagnate disgust me, and are acts that i consider unacceptable. however, everyone has his own preferences, history and reason. cutting myself some slack will only allow me to learn from other people, what they wouldn't want to learn for themselves.

the world is a really nice place to live in, even if the world contains a lot of people you couldn't care less about. even if you think the world is better off without other people, you just have to live with the fact thaty they have their lives too, and you can't do anything about that. unless of course you take everyone out, which is really just out of the question.

learning i believe is a life long process, which my mother has lead me t…
engaging hyper mode...

yesterday, i got the chance to drive -- i mean really drive from one place to another. i will always remember experience, as well as the feeling of being in control. now i know why people want to be all-powerful and self-serving tyrants. i now know how much fun it is to take the path you want to take, and be in control of all the actions that you will take as well as the fate of other people (my passengers) for that matter.

it's a nice feeling -- to be able to go on a pace that you set by yourself, or go with the flow. however way i put it, driving is a very rewarding, but tiring experience. at some time, i had to stop and replenish my stock -- it was easily exhausting.

now i am engaging myself (my brain in particular) in hypermode. this hypermode, is something that is characterized by the thirst for something to think about. it is characterized by a sudden surge of the desire to think and do something intellectual. and this happens when i am inspired.

for on…
accomplishmets? now how do you feel?

last time, work was really on my mind. i kept my mind off a lot of things, which i needed to take my mind away from. now, i still have to work, but things have been moving in a slightly different direction and pace. now, everything is wayward, and hectic. no way i could start contemplating on things like life and love. or is that true...

the kaliwa watershed pollution modeeling module is currently at 60%, is doping great. the deadline of the whole software is on the 15th of june, which gives me lots of time to get it up to 90% before the month ends. there are a lot of things that still need to be done, but i'm getting the help.

the wireless lan card is working, and alas i had to recompile the kernel. however, what i feared about recompiling on my measly machine, is really negligible. the laptop seemed to muster just enough power to be able to compile the whole kernel without problems -- under an hour at that! which really got me to trust the lap…
work, work, work...

currently, my interests and activities are taking a whole lot out of my day. but i do need to work on a few certain things that need to be taken care of ASAP. they are (for those who really want to know... ;-) ):

-- the kaliwa watershed pollution modelling module, being developed in C++ which is due at the end of the month.

-- making the wireless linksys lan card work in linux (my trusty laptop lattie which runs a meager 266 Mhz can't take compiling the kernel and stuff, so i'm looking for quick fix solutions.)

-- my thesis proposal on a projective load balancing algorithm for loosely coupled parallel computing architectures. this is really urgent, and currenlty it's only somewhere between 30-40% done. it's also due at the end of the summer period.

now that i've been really busy, i'm getting the hang of it once more. and did i mention my goal to buff up and be able to walk around the campus in a tightly fitting muscle shirt and snugly fittin…