Mental Blabberings

On this last day of this year, I am preparing myself for the inevitable coming of a new year, and therefore a new start. Work won't come in another five days, and so won't school, and it won't be until then that I'll be submitting a working progress (initial writeup and analysis of initial results of my thesis). For now, or in the near future (i.e. tomorrow), I'll be preparing myself for a marathon of Neverwinter Nights as I try to finish the second chapter and prepare to finish the game before buying the first expansion. My thesis on a projective load balancing algorithm for a Beowulf cluster is taking a turn for the better (I hope) now that I'll be able to work on the cluster from home and implement the algorithm over the break. I am currently analyzing the results of the control setups and identifying certain trends and quirks (if there are any identifiable ones) from the data. I will be coming up with an online report of it, somewhere maybe in my personal

I have recently been under detox (from the internet). Detoxifying myself of the highs that the internet brings to people like me, who like having to get the news at the touch of his fingertips, and communicating non-humanely with humans through the internet (IRC). However, I do have nothing better to say, but that I am so tired that I want to do something already. Kept chilled...

Computer Science 127 File Processing and Database System First Semester, School Year 2002 - 2003 Progress Report Group Name: Name: Section: Date: I. Group - any accomplishments or activities that involves the whole group, e.g. meeting, brain storming II. Client - if you have a client, write here any transaction or consultation you did with the client. III. Personal Achievements - write here the things you did in connection with the project e.g. you design interface, you created the table, write program IV. Comments and Suggestions - any comments or suggestions regarding your group mates, project or client or anything you want to say with regards to the development of the project V. Goals for next week - the things you plan to do for next week, this will serve as a reminder for you and the basis for the next progress report, if indeed you have a progress.

CMSC 172 - Project 1 CMSC 172-Robot Modeling Laboratory Project 1 Objectives 1. To write a solution to the gross motion path-finding problem in 2D space; 2. To initially write a solution for the above problem restricting only the mobile part to move in two translational dimensions. 3. To extend the code for the second objective above to include the third rotational dimension. Prerequisites 1. Knowledge in C or Perl or Java programming. 2. Knowledge in scripting documents via the Hypertext Markup Language (HTML). Required Output You must publish a web page that will show the code specified in the objectives. The web page must be named ~your_login/www/cmsc/172/proj1.html. It must show your name, the specifics of your solutions and a link to the source code. All of your source codes must be properly documented. If you used multiple files for the source code, you must also provide a link for these. A Missing section must be included if not all requi

HPF Users Group Meeting Notes taken by Charles Koelbel during the HPF Users Group Meeting on June 25-26, 1998. A very worthy read, especially to HPF users, and to those wanting to know what HPF is (like me).

References to online documents about process migration, checkpointing and load balancing A very nice listing of available resources on process migration for the researches to pick from. My hats off to the person who compiled this list.

Dynamic, Data Dependent Load Balancing for European Metacomputing A very important find, especially with regards to the thesis I am doing. I should therefore look into HiCon and give it a shot for setting up a link between the UPLB cluster as well as the ASTI cluster. Maybe even the other clusters from other Universities might want to give HiCon a chance, much like how the Europeans have done it. Quoted from the site: This paper presents the trans European Metacomputing research by the E=MC2 project. It illustrates the network, the trials and the experiences with extensive measurements between several European high performance computing centers coupled by ATM broadband networks, and investigates the possibilities and challenges of European Meta Computing on broadband networks. For several trials the dynamic load balancing environment HiCon was installed on the clusters and several complex, parallelized applications were executed and observed on it. Additionally, several o

It hasn't occurred to me that the only motivation I can come up with is the motivation that is not external -- but motivation that comes from within. If I hadn't been offered and given a job, I wouldn't have been turning my life around so drastically now. I'm getting up early, doing things more snappily, getting more professional (dressing up for everyday), and getting more from life than what I thought I could already get. The thought of waking up to another day filled with duties that get rewarded seems a better incentive than the sheer love of doing it. We have got to get rewarded by other people more than just occassionally, but we need to be able to get motivation from ourselves. And what's better than doing your job and loving it? I couldn't call it work anymore because I enjoy doing it. However, it might be more appropriately called a profession because I want to excel in doing it -- and master things I should have mastered a long time ago. Now I ha

Adaptive Load-Balancing Algorithms Using Symmetric Broadcast Networks An approach to load balancing by using symmetric broadcast networks (SBN). This must be good reading material especially in getting ideas on how to prove the B coefficient formula...

Dynamic Load Balancing Algorithms This is a pointer to a resource which tackles dynamic load balancing algorithms and load balancing in meshes. Citable resource for the thesis paper. Another peice of related literature.

Right now, I am in the middle of completing the requirements for formally being employed by the Municipality of Calauan to administer their Linux based systems, and (hopefully) migrate the existing systems to Linux. I got the job offer just yesterday, and I've already started by installing Red Hat Linux 9 on a server (powerful P4 based computer) and am currently in the process of configuring the network and other services that is needed for the smooth operation of the systems being set up. I will NOT in any means divulge the terms of which I will agree to work with, but getting paid with linux is like a dream come true. Although I cannot expect too much from the government (especially here in the Philippines) I owe much of the opportunity to my dear uncle Mayor. Without him as mayor, I will not be working right now. The position is flexible and would allow me to study and do my thesis and work at the same time. I can work long hours (as long as I like) until I get the systems

I have been scouring the library for related literature, as I stumble trying to come up with papers that suggest that something similar to what I am doing would be feasible. I am also looking for papers that suggest formal proofs of the concepts they are using, and proposing. I have come up with a few papers regarding load balancing, but most of them rely on looking ahead (or optimistic load balancing) of time, instead of using the current/previous performace of the system. I'm having problems coming up with literature that supports what I'm doing, and it's really not easy. I do have my best friend google and everyone's tambayan (the library) but the time it takes to actually look around and read through all the material is really just overwhelming. I guess I just have to stay longer offline, and just take a peek once in a while. Chillin'...

It's the first laboratory session for CMSC 172, Robot Modeling and we are faced with a real world problem that needs a real world computational solution. The problem is called the gross motion path-finding problem, and what it's all about is planning the route of a robot in 2 dimensional space, given the starting point, and solid obstacles in the defined space. It's like having a map of the city, and planning your route from one place to the other by avoiding obstacles (buildings, parked cars, passing trains, etc.) and getting the shortest path possible. It's a machine problem which may be solved using C (which i prefer most) or Java which takes in the definition of the 2 dimensional space, the starting position of the "robot" and the target position of the "robot", and the definition of the solid obstacles in the two dimensional space. I've heard a couple of approaches from sir Resty, and I'm stil scouring the web for possible hints

After a couple of hours setting up the cluster, I finally have it running. I finally setup my first SPARC based cluster. And I finally run the prime number finder. And believe me, I felt the power. Even though the performance (in actual time units) wasn't better than the ASTI i686 based cluster, the fact that I was able to search through more numbers (1-9999999 compared to just 1-999999) is really something. I guess that's where the 64-bit architecture kicks in. Aside from that, I can't really complain about anything else because everything I have been using at the ICS is provided for, and the things I am doing are for the benefit of the institute too. The power, is definitely there -- and I have a feeling that it's going to stay there and become more useful as more and more people get to use the cluster. Someday I hope I'll be working with a firm that provides HPC solutions, because I definitely could get the hang of working on something I am passionate ab

Now I am using a SPARC workstation for my thesis. Doing research left and right, on the net, on paper, and now on it blogging. It feels so much like a GHz performance 32-bit processor, but in real life it's a 64-bit 350Mhz RISC processor. And I haven't run anything that will bring it to its knees yet. Now I know how it really feels to have an UltraSPARC workstation at your disposal. And to boot, I have 5 to work with! :D When I get settled down with the setup, I should then be able to write down everything I have done to get it up and running -- as well as some problems I have encountered and have no solution to yet. As for the thesis, I am currently scrutinizing the formulae I am using, so as to lay a stable foundation for my implementation. The implementation should be a trivial process, and the implementation shouldn't be something I couldn't handle (or so i think...). Chillin'...

I've been spending a couple of hours in a very cold room with 5 Sun SPARC (Ultra 5 Workstations) machines and the fact that it runs on a 350 Mhz 64-bit RISC processor (and feels much like a 1Ghz 32-bit Athlon/Pentium) boggles my mind and enlightens my soul. Just when I thought that I've had so much fun with Linux on 32-bit machines, the feel of Linux on a 64-bit machine is just awesome. The 350Mhz 64-bit UltraSPARC-IIi breezes through the things I make it do, and seems to beg me for more. Now I'm installing Debian Woody from the internet, and I hope the download finishes before 7 so that I don't have any more reasons to stay here in ICS after 7. It's not that I mind staying here with the SPARC machines, and I might change my mind a little later, but I do also want to take a break once in a while. Now hopefully, when I get the master node running with X and a couple more of the goodies I need (OpenOffice, web browsers, and a guest user account) then setting

I just happened to get trapped in a 12+ hour development lock-in to finish up on the GIS software my friends and I have been developing. For more than 12 hours we were kept in the dev room, and we were hacking on code we had written a couple of months back. Every aspect of the software was being scrutinized by everybody, and fixes were coded now and then so as to maximize the time that we were there. We were fed gratituously and I cannot complain about the accomodations. Maybe we should have done this much earlier in the porject, not so that it could've been finished faster, but rather so that we could maximize the budget allowance for the food. And of course the air-conditioned workspace and well lit environment that turns night to day -- giving me the illusion that time stands still and that my body should not rest. I should really start fixing my biological clock now, because this type of lifestyle isn't making me any more productive. The software, lacking documentatio

Just a few minutes ago, I have just finished installing Debian Woody on a UltraSPARC 5 here in UPLB. I just felt how fun it is to install Linux on a fairly powerful workstation, with a 64-bit RISC processor. It just kept me entertained as I watched the install process complete itself on the machine, downloading packaged from the repository mirrors for the stable Debian release. I should document this experience too, and it should be a worthwile read especially those who like playing with Linux and different architectures. I'm now thinking of looking into the kernel source for the 64 bit architecture and see what I can find about it. Hopefully, when I finish installing Linux on all 5 workstations and create a cluster out of it, then it should be a very rewarding (and not to mention exotic) exotic experience. And if I ever feel that I need more power, there are at least 5 more workstations I can plug into the cluster to spice it up a little more. To sir marvin, I will still be

It's the start of the semester, and a new beginner. But how could things be better now than they have been before? What could be so special about this semester, compared to all the other semesters? I've been spending time with a lot of people not in the usual 1 degree connection -- spending a couple of hours with acquaintances and the not so close friends. I've been enjoying learning a lot of new things about what's happening in the lives of other people besides those whom I already know. It's also nice rediscovering how making friends is, and how much I've missed out on while chasing after the people I might have never been able to get to know more. Maybe a few years ago, I was too full of myself that I want everything done my way, and that I feel the joy of being able to do things my way. But now I have learned to let go and let things be. Things may not seem what you think they are. Sometimes, things are just what they appear to be. Sometimes, what you

Bayanihan Computing Group A brilliant and inspiring method of harnessing the idle power of computers networked together to achieve something collectively. It is a brainchild of one of the Philippines' brilliant minds. This collective piece of work would most probably be cited in the papers I will produce regarding my thesis because literature at this site serves a great reading for distributed computing and load balancing/scheduling. Kudos to Dr. Sarmenta for his revolutionary piece of work.

Here comes a brand new semester, and what a way to start another chapter of life. But then I feel as though I would be going in the same pace that I went in the last few semesters I've been in the University. However, there are a few exceptions. In this semester, I will be dealing with the somewhat conclusion of my stay in the University. Here I will define what I want to be right after I get out of the University. In this semester, I decided to go finish things I should have finished a long time ago, and conclude whatever that's needed to be concluded. Something to do with life and love, and the lack thereof. First off, I want to be able to finish whatever I have started with Ms. Two Years. I somehow still do not know what's finally happening, and I would like it to end in one way or another. Either I talk to her about it and complicate things, or I just drop her like a filthy slew of goo and leave her where I found her. I might just want to keep silent about it, but

A couple of days ago, I felt the worst feeling a person seemingly on top of the world could possibly feel. I found out that there was a higher peak. You know that feeling where you do your best to get to where you are now, and then suddenly you find out that you want to somewhere else when you get there? It isn't really regret, but it's like the feeling you get when you finally tear the gift wrapping of your most awaited gift, only to find out that you already have it. It's like working hard for something you thought you really wanted, only to find out that you wanted something more and that you have to work for it again. Life's been always like that to me. When I thought I had what I wanted, I see something I want more. It's like a vicious cycle sucking me into eternity. I feel as though I will never satisfy myself and my hunger for a lot of things. And when I get hungy, I get really hungry. Hungry for things I know I can work for, and that I will work for.

It's that season again for competition -- what better time than the semestral break, and the period of transition from one phase to another (from single to getting more single by the day). The Ultimate Freakout Challenge -- it just came up in my mind while typing this blog, so pardon the cheesy acronym. It's like me, pitted against myself, in the proverbial octagon called life. It is during this season that I try to outdo myself. It is also during this season that I put myself through most things other people wouldn't even dare put themselves in. It is duing this time that I assess my performance as a person, and grapple, tackle, and strike my way to make myself better. In a few days, I will be part of a 3-person team carrying the banner of the institution that we come from to try and prove that we deserve to be one of the best -- or not. In a couple of days, our knowledge and skills will be put to the test, and it's for these moments that we strive harder to achi

thekonst.net :: program information This is definitely one for the nostalgic console hacker's toolbox. The days of looking through a console window, and editing in ncurses based IDE's start anew. :D thanks to btx for the great find. definitely one for keeps. :D

The Programmer's File Format Collection Definitely for keeps. I stumblod upon this while looking for image programming in C. Apparently, the definitions of the file formats are here, and I just have to program myself a rendering tool that will putput an image of the data I have. Pretty neat resource I may say... It is definitely worth the developer's bookmark.

Do you feel as though the life you have isn't what you're really meant to be living? What if someone else owns the life that you so miserably live? Maybe you are in the right place at the wrong time, or you're the person you least want to be in your shoes right now? I certainly don't. I love my life, and so far I won't exchange it for anything. But hey, not everyday is a relaxing day at the beach, nor is everyday a celebration. Everyday is indeed enough cause for a celebration, but you don't celebrate everyday. And the sun is definitely not cooperating nowadays so the beach isn't for everybody everyday. However there are days which are so mundane and surreal that you just want to dig your hole in your home, and stay there until you feel that everything is real again. Holidays seem to be very frequent in where I live, and holidays are celebrated. But then I celebrate in a different way -- i contemplate and reflect on what has just happened and enjoy it

Hot Hardware: Hercules Audio - DJ Console NOW This is something I'd want for christmas! Well, definitely wish-list material, if you ask me. To those of you who don't already know me, I am a DJ at the UPLB College Radion station. And I DO want this for christmas. :)

Apollo Moon Booster Still Flies as Detailed Model Rocket Sure hope the Philippines get a lot more dreamers so that one day we'd be flying off to the moon too. Maybe the universities here in the Philippines could get one of these models, and bring something about from studying the rocket science behind it. Sure would be a great day when the Filipino flag gets waved from the moon (or Mars even) -- or maybe even one of Jupiter's moons. Sure love dreaming...

OpenBSD 3.4 Release Ok, now hold your horses, I still love Linux. But I think it's high time I check out other Operating Systems -- I just might like them too. :) Besides, I have plenty of time to learn new things when the summer comes. I might just try this one because I've heard so much about it. :) Not a change of heart anytime soon...

Walhello Ok, now if you want your chedule publicised the easy way? You could check out this page which I stumbled upon while googling at this time of day. I'm searching for a service which would suite my needs for publishing my public calendar. I find it useful to let people know what I would be doing at certain times on certain days so that when they need to contact me, they would be able to do so easily by knwing what i would be most probably doing at a certain time and date. A priceless find, suitable for businesses and individuals alike.

Now I can't sleep, and I might as well do something productive. I'm in the middle of configuring a Linux kernel for this desknote, and documenting what I have done to get this desknote up and running as how I want it. I'm still looking for a place where I can put the document, because I don't have any access to webspace which I could call my own. I don't know if putting it on my personal webspace in UPLB would do, but then that site experiences too much downtime. I'm feeling hesitant to put it on my free.net.ph page, because it's free, and besides I don't want to use up too much of Jijo's hard drive space. I might ask help from a few friends with some webspace to spare, or i might just as well put it up at some mailing list archived forever, which google may access for further note. I'm thinking of lending my services to people too, charging them in the process. I discovered that I have an uncanny liking for rendering service to people in n

Have you even wondered why people never get tired of doing the same thing over and over? I mean, getting up at 530 in the morning, going to the same workplace you went to yesterday, doing the same boring thing for 20 years? Don't you get bored with that kind of life? Of course everyday is a new day, but the outline of the day is definitely monotonous. Day in, and day out, only the interesting things happen elsewhere, and aside from that if anything interesting ever happens, it just passes and the next day you're back to the same old routine. My life, is definitely complex as it is now. Piled up workload, and too little time to spare for anything. And then what happens when you fit me into a routine like that? I break. I just stop, and do nothing. Or at least, do the minimum I can and hope that the cycle breaks. Especially if the routine is so simple, and so manual -- involving very little mindwork, save for a little math and a little reading -- i just hate what I'm do

linmodems.org This one should fit the needs more or less of those who have internal PCI internal modems that run in Windows, and would like to make use of them when they eventually do Linux. These modems are called winmodems, and certainly knowing what's happening behind the scenes is crucial to understanding how to make these things work. These modems are cheap, but the time it would take you more or less to set them up in Linux is expensive. Might as well buy an external modem connected via the serial ports, so that you'll have less problems. Just don't buy an external winmodem. :) Thanks again to the cyberlizard, for pointing me to this resource. :)

I'm stuck here at home for a good week or so, and all I do is hole myself up in my den, and hack away at something really interesting to me. I mean, I know I should get a life, but the life I want to live is at the other side of the world! I want to live in a place where everybody is different, individualism rules, and the population is diverse. Here in where I live, the population's more or less made up by only three kinds of people -- those who care but know nothing, those who don't care but know a lot, and those who would care less about anything. I mean come on, I know you have something better to do than lie around or sit around doing nothing? err, maybe aside from smoking? I live in Calauan, Laguna -- a place stuck in the 70's where the only semblances of modern living are the cars that pass by the street, the telephone service that absolutely sucks, and maybe a few computer shops in the poblacion . I am stuck in an environment where stagnation is a way of life

Tenes Empanadas Graciela One of the better games i've come across on linux. Of course, it's based on a classic (which I happen to never have known before). I got introduced to this by Mr. Eric Pareja himself, pusakat. Great discussion about linux and general questions algo get answered at irc.free.net.ph#plug <-- the IRC channel for the Philippine Linux Users Group. If you happen to use linux and get stomped somewhere, it's definitely nice to get help from somewhere. :D here is a link to the registration for the Philippine Linux Users Group mailing list. Have fun! :) Happy hacking! :D

<-- GKrellM@muhri.net --> I'm getting tired of the default theme of GKrellM. and therefore that's why I looked around and found this, the GKrellM theme repository. A very welcome site, escpecially for frechening up that system stack on the right side of the screen. For more details on GKrellM, head on over to http://www.gkrellm.net/ . This will definitely freshen up my desknote's looks. :D

Creating Debian Installers with PGI Now if you want your own Linux distro, this is a God sent tool for you. With a decade of experience and expertise behind this company, you know that you'll get something worth your while. I would most likely be using this tool to come up with my distro for HPC (Beowulf clusters). And surely I would be having a great time doing it. :) Thanks to sir pusakat (Eric Pareja) of the University of Manila Computing Center for pointing me to this tool a few months back. keep it chilled... :D

The CyberLizard I will forever be indebted to this guy, because of all the nights we've been talking with each other about the geeky stuff that only either of us would want to talk about anyway. well, at least online we never run out of things to talk about. aside from the fact that we always tend to discuss things on different sides of the spectrum, this guy is amazing. pop him a question and he'll definitely come up with something relevant to say. to the chat sessions that last through the morning after, here's to the cyberlizrd. just chill dude. :D

Neverwinter Nights for Linux I'm currently figuring out why the installer stops working after the first disk has been done with. I don't know if it's eject missing, or something's not right with the morphix installation. nonetheless, i'd be blogging my progress right after i get this working. time to read the FAQ's! :D

screenshot-desknote.png (PNG Image, 1024x768 pixels) This is what I typically see on my new Desknote. I just love this baby. And yes, thanks again to the cyberlizard, i now have 24 bit color on 1024x768 resolution in X. Thanks too to Mr. Winischhofer, it works just fine on this machine. :) I am currently installing Neverwinter Nights from Bioware . Yes, NWN on linux with the linux installer, and the linux client. now i'm chillin'... :D

Thomas Winischhofer - Main index Thanks to the cyberlizard, tuko, Mr. JM Ibanez, this resource has given me a new hope that i would eventually take advantage of the hardware i have on this baby (Desknote). :) more news will follow if i get this thing working. :) i might even burn the morphix install to a CD. :) keep chillin... ;)

she's been there when i need her, and when she needs me, i'm there for her. we've known each other for close to seven years already (well, it has been that long) and when she needs someone to talk to, i pretty much fit the bill of the great listener. and when all's done, i try to give my best advice -- which reminds me, i should take anytime like now -- when she solicits it from me. and she does the same for me, and it's been like that ever since we knew each other. i know she's a very good friend, and i know that people would benefit from a friend like her. she's better than a girlfriend actually, we've been with each other with every up and down our collective lives have gone through. time passes, people come and go, and the first person i'll look for when the day is over is my friend. i look out for her as much as i can, and i do my best to be the best friend i could be for her. with all that said, i love her dearly. she's not like an

this is just sweet. i love my dad for letting me have the things i like in life... a nice family, a very nice home, and a nice notebook. just the other day (that fateful Tuesday evening) my dad let me buy what i've been always wanting to have for my own. this is the new (or well, not so new) ECS Desknote A530 -- you can see the specs here . and while i was having trouble with woody and the vanilla 2.4.22 kernel patched with the ck2 patch from Con Kolivas, i don't still get the hardware detection i need from debian woody -- more details here . and for that precise reason, i tried out other Debian based distributions. and now, i'm using Morphix on this baby -- details available here . i might be writing a howto of sorts, if i get its features running well. i owe that much to the open source community who come up with such brilliant products such as Linux, the GNU tool set, and a lot more. now, i got to get back to work, and loving my dear baby here... ;) now i'm

mpi2-report.tex -- The MPI Specifications. I just finished modifying my prime number finder (one that's implemented on a beowulf cluster at the advanced science and technology institute (ASTI)) which also happens to yield mind boggling results. with the previous runs i have done, i get times of around 190+ seconds, finding all the prime numbers from 1 to 999999. and that was already surprising, considering that if you run it on one computer, it's really going to take more time than that. but with the modifications in, finding all the primes from 1 to 999999 only took about 5 seconds!! that was using just 5 nodes, and a chunk size of 10000 -- this may be confirmed, and test results as soon as available may be obtained by request via email. now i have to find a setup where the cluster is really homogeneous, and where the loads of the nodes are unstable (or where the nodes are not dedicated for the cluster). anyway, more news to come as my sem draws to a close. i might b

too much data i'm dealing with too much data, and it has just to me. i accidentally pressed the template button instead of the post and publish buitton. and now all that i've written has gone to waste. well this is what you get for multitasking... doing two research projects at the same time (parallel computing and artificial intelligence). and now i'm not sure if i could keep it up anymore. but then i live for this, and therefore i should hang on. now i will have to spend more time on more things. but for now i need a break. just keep chillin'...

sincere how do you sound sincere? i mean, when do you know a person is really sincere? and if you knew for sure that the person you're talking to is sincere, would it change anything? would it change the way you feel about that person? i've said no to the person i though i wasn't going to be able to say no to. i'm moving on, form the person i thought i could never move on from. but now i'm finding that at times, she sounds sincere, and sincerely concerned. even if i counsciously think about it, yes she really did sound sincere a while ago. but should that change anything? and so now i think i know that she does care sometimes. it isn't said out loud, but then the thought comes when she says things that sound truly authentic. her: "umuulan na... ay, wala kang payong?" me: "wala e, pero ok lang." (after pausing for a moment to consciously taking note of her tone). i couldn't stomach the thought that things like that were

just say no being able to say no is something definitely not very hard to do (which before was something unheard of from me). i've been a busy person, and it's been a while since i prioritized myself for the sake of being aware that i need rest and that i need to do a lot of stuff for me. sure, doing favors (little ones) are fine with me. there's no problem with lending a helping hand, and my friends know it. but then with my friends, there are limits. i could only help to a certain extent, and usually only to the point that i help them become more productive. i usually don't do things for other people that they can do for themselves already. if you know me, you know that much. anyway, if you're not a special someone to me (or if more appropriately, if i don't know that i'm a special someone to you) then you can't expect any special treatment from me. you can't demand too much of my time, and neither can i demand from you -- not that i ever

another day during this time of the day, i usually am the most productive. yes, at 1:30 am, I am most productive. I'm not sure if I am just nocturnal by nature, or my years in college has forced me be this way. anyway, a few interesting things happened to me today, and i wuld like to remember these things and immortalize them on my weblog. first off, i took the final exam on a computer science course, which i neglected so much i think i'm gonna flunk. i've been too busy looking at and doing complex things that simple matrix operations are going past me -- and consequentially dragging me down. i know i could do what was being asked of me in the first exams, but it seems that i need another wakeup call from the heavens (or from my instructors). i hope i pass that exam, because that's the least i can hope for to at least pass the course (30% of the final grade rests on the final exam, so it counts a lot). another interesting thing is the thrill of looking at diff

sick i was down with a fever wednesday, and now i'm up and about -- yet still not feeling well. well anyway, i'm just thankful i'm feeling better as the days go by. now i really have to work out, and improve this state of my body. anyway, the papers will be use out his week, and should be something to look forward to. i sure do look forward to finishing them up already. it's really hard to work when you're body's not up to the task. anyway, have anice day people! :) bawal magkasakit!

plastic why do people even bother to smile, when the smile is obviously just for show? why do people have a hard time being sincere? and why do they have a hard time being sincere to me? during a nice sunny day, when everything seemed fine and the day seemed so nice, you tend to naturally feel light, happy, and alive. then suddenly, other people start showing up, and then start ruining your day. talk about a really pathetic way of ending the day. when the smile gets to you, it should really get you to smile back -- unless the smile wasn't sincere. in which case you want to just stop everything and turn everything back wishing that she hadn't smiled at you. i want things to go back to when everything was simple but now it's obvious that it isn't possible. it's too far from the beginning at whenever life shows its ugly face at you, you just want to hide. unfortunately, i don't know of a time when i could place myself at and say that i was really happy, a

finally finally the parallel genetic algorithms based solution to the asymmetric travelling salesman problem is operational and ready for testing. i've already done a couple of tests on it, and it seems that there's a trend i'm coming up with. the paper regarding it shoul be available in the next few days, since it has to be seen by my instructor and adviser before i can make it public. technical details regarding the setup and the study may be obtained through email mikhailberis [at] free.net.ph . interested individuals who want a copy of the paper would have to wait, and would for now have to express written interest via email at the given address. you may also search the true compsci mailing list archives regarding my posts on parallel GA and the asymmetric TSP. sacha: i miss dinner. i should go to diliman more often. @};-

hate why am i no able to feel hate towards a certain person? why can i not learn to hate her? why can i not stop loving her, or thinking about her? is this what i get for listening to my heart? it seems that whetever try to do to forget the person, it just doesn't work. i don't know what else to do, because i've never been in this situation before. i never thought that loving someone like i have loved this person would have such an effect to me. i never thought that i would ever be able to want to forget her. but now, i'm over her somehow -- but i'm still blogging about her aren't I? there should be something wrong with me. but whatever that is, I must get oever it ASAP. the problem is, i want to move on but i can't. everything that i see, read, or hear most of the times reminds me of her. every little thing that reminds me of her is very important to me, and i can't seem to get over them. like whenever i see her name on my cell phone, or her e

life... why is life like this? what did i do, or what have i not done to desrve this? why is SHE like that? i learned a valuable lesson today. do not build your life around any one dream, unless you're prepared to fail. and unfortunately, my building my world around the person i love doesn't have a plan b. i don't know what to do now, but to sulk in misery and be alone for the meantime. i build my life around a dream that one day, maybe one day i meet the perosn i am willing to live the rest of my life with. however, i never expected that person to not love me back for who i am, or for what i am and will be. i've built my world around the idea that someday, when i meet that person, we shall live our lives together happily. unfortunately, i never took into account the possiblity that either she doesn't come, or that when we meet things wouldn't go as plan. the big mistake i've commited is not preparing plan b, and now i am lost. i have friends, a

thesis update for the past few weeks i have been preoccupied by my study on a projective load balancing algorithm as well as a parallel multiple population genetic algorithm with species migration solution to the assymetric travelling salesman problem. i have run a pretest on the 16 node beowulf cluster i have setup at the Institute of Computer Science at the University of the Philippines at Los Banos (UPLB ICS) by getting the area under the curve f(x) = 1/x^3 + 1/x^2 + 1/x from 1 to 1000. and right now, i have very encouraging findings regarding the performance speedup of the 16 node parallel computation compared to a sequqntial implementation of the solution. however, the findings will be posted in due time. right now i am writing a couple of papers regarding 1) the computational speedup of parallel computation using clusters and try and a mathematical model on the relation among the number of processors, the amount of computational time it takes to complete the run of a solu

party five page paper, intelligent robot, watershed management software, and a new cellular phone. that's what's been keeping me busy as of late, and frankly they're all nagging bitchen that i have to attend to ALL THE TIME. thank God the five page paper is done, the watershed management software is 85% complete (at least my part of it), and the new cellphone is a real dandy. the intelligent robot, i'll be workin on in a few hours maybe. i'm still warming up my brain. ;-) but the week before, i was in a completely different mood. i was so into parties, that i went to two parties in the same day (well, one was a real party but the other was like a "guy's night out"). and just last friday, i wen't out relaxin' at the local bar. and just yesterday, yet another party -- a friend's debut (18th birthday). talk about hang overs. anyway, quite contrary, everything else that's happening is nowhere near a party. i'm getting cramm

nostalgia i just recieved email from one of my previous girlfriends. and i can't explain the feeling i got when i was reading it, and i had to reassess what's really happening in my life right now. first of all, i am in love with someone, and i'm seeing another person. i am still open to dating and meeting other people, and i don't know what i rally want to do. i am busy with a lot of things right now, and i'll be busy at least in the immediate future. i know i want a life which i enjoy, and i do enjoy this life right now. however, i am not very good when it comes to situations where i have seemingly no control over. when it comes to love and relationships, i tend to take control and move things the way i like things to go. maybe that explains why i havent had any relationships that really lasted. until this particular girl got into my life. this previous girlfriend (#4 to be more exact) of mine, is someone i've met and known even before my first girlf

bliss a few days ago, i was part of a team which won 3rd place at the wireless challenge held at the westin philippine plaza. now, i am modestly 50,000 pesos richer. and aside from that, i'm one year older (last July 27). and politically, im beginning to think that the philippine government needs an overhaul. but then that's just me. something noteworthy though is a little story which i would like to tell about me, and a certain lady i love. to cut the long story short, apparently i really don't mean anything to her at all, and that i could might as well die and she wouldn't care a tad bit about me. oh well, but then that's life. and there are a lot of women that deserve my love aside from her -- it's just that i've been to busy making her love me instead of learning to love other people. and as i get older and a bit wiser, im still going to be the person that i am. and as far as i'm concerned, i'm just gonna live my life and be happy doin

emotion perception, emotion, ideas, and life. they all mix well together -- shaken not stirred as how James Bond would like to have it. however the normal geeky person like me would prefer a little of each and every thing not related to what I actually like doing. i'm talking about the dynamics involved in dating, life, friends, and things like plays and poems. however, i also tend to believe that life is meant to be lived as well as not put to waste. and aside from wanting to do a lot of things and a few things that i have to do, i think life is full of things that you put in it. i believe that my life is what i make it, and by some predefined and discreetly and non-obvious plan which is beyond my comprehension, is meant to go somwhow this way. this doesn't affirm any religious theories that have been fed to me by my past scholarly experiences, however this is something that people have more or less come up with in relation to trying to explain things that is beyond the

burned out had dinner with a girl i admire monday, tuesday was a 7-7 day, and now i'm puffed out. tired, exhausted, what have you... i know i could go on and have fun still, but im dead tired right now to do something really stupid or even productive -- to do anything for that matter. i know i've still got to go on and live, but im so darn tired that i can't even think straight. maybe a few more hours in bed should help. anyway, im absent for the whole day, and somewhat detached from my friends. perhaps a day isn't too much to ask for myself. tryin' to chill...

im on a high i'm on a high! i just got a new mobile phone (+639198720686), qualified for a contest, and just went out with a lady i admire. anyway, i really had a nice week, and just now a nice day. hope this gets me into something positive. :) should start making myself better, for i have found renewed vigor and reason to go on. :) still chillin'... :)

Bashing... it's a nice feeling when you hack at things... but then it's generally not nice to bash at anything -- especially if it's your head. bashing here, is used in the sense that you would be beating yourself (or a certain part of your body, or another person's body, or intellect, etc.) to a pulp just to get things out. more like torture, but torture is sometimes correlated to things done to you that you don't like. but in my case, i'm just bashing my head in for a lot of things. and when i say a lot, i mean a lot. it's hard to keep up with one's life especially if everything around you seems to not want to cooperate. i have 20 units enrolled this semester, and as early as now i feel the wear and tear that it's been causing me. and considering that the semester is just a few weeks old, i'm already feeling the effects of it. now i have to remind myself all over again that this is all for me, unlike then when everything was seemingly

journal for the past few days (week, to be exact) i have been juggling around my schedule and seeing how in the world i'll be able to put up with such a hectic pace, when you need to think, act, move, live, and love at the same time. i know of the saying regarding doing things one at a time, but apparently it doesn't work. i've been too preoccupied to even try and keep this habit of writing to my blog regular, but then i really have to, since this is one of the best things i've ever done for myself. i have a class, which requires me to actually have a journal, and fortunately i already have this blog. my teacher then let me submit the URL of my 'journal' as a replacement for a paper/pen/pencil journal. and for the past week, i've been huffing, and puffing, and wanting to blow my house to where i actually spend time, so that i wouldn't wast so much time on the commute. the week ahead, is a week when hopefully things normalize, and turn for th

swirl everything is in a swirl, and everything seems to get along with everything else, except me. it's like everything's passing me by, and i don't know why. it somehow feels like everything's meant to happen, but im not part of it. this kind of feeling is the one that tends to get me into depression and utter disconuity. but now i've learned to focus my efforts and learn from my surroundings. now, i just have to learn -- again. and what i learned before is to get into a new world, escape and start from scratch like a new person. and this is what i plan to do. i hope this works out for me. :) chill...

time being in a place where you are who you are, and at a time when later is now, makes it evident that you are one and all. being able to see who you really are, where you're really at, and know what you really know is the essence of being alive. taking time like it is a luxury escapes me as a concept because it really is something that you don't spend. you merely wade through it, like the sea that surrounds all land. time is that which holds everything in place and everyone attached. time keeps everything flowing, and continuity is always welcome to those who seek to live. everyone has his or her own being, that which who he or she alone knows. this being is not necessarily what others would like to see, and most of the time fail to see. to be someone that you are is something as essential as time to determine who you are now, and later. being yourself, and your being is one and the same. this is what time keeps in place at any given continous moment that you wad

bad timing... when you get to know people, you have so mcuh time in the world to wait until you know what happens next. but sometimes, there's no continuation. nothing after the initial hi/hello. i've been contemplating on a certain event in my life when i was in hollywood. i was approached by two ladies, tracy and amber. they were really friendly -- not to mention young, gorgeous, and game. and instead of ceasing the moment, i chickened out. i didn't even get their numbers. poor me. what should i have done? i should have gotten their numbers at least. after all, what have i got to lose? i was alone, and they approached me. they even wanted to have my beads, but that's a different story. but then i got to thinking that there was one particular reason why i chickened out. it was the girl i loved so dearly. even though we were not in a relationship, i couldn't stop thinking about her during that time. she was all that was on my mind. i saw what i wanted t

exploit? i've been hearing and reading a lot of things regarding exploitation and taking advantage, and even molestation. however, i'm in no position to comment on them -- until i actually tried studying one. after reading a paper posted by Florian Weimer regarding the possible exploitable code in the linux kernel, i went ahead and did some digging. and this was the initial product of my investigation. keep posted on the fix i might try and submit to the kernel developers regarding the exploitable code in the linux kernel. so i think that makes me a hacker. :) on something more relevant, today (or yesterday) i had a consultation with my thesis adviser regarding my thesis proposal and what i really wanted to do. and by God's grace, it was approved. although the paper is still to follow, this is a good start for me. until i actually finish the paper, i won't be giving details away. however, please email me if you want to get more information or if you'r

no pain, no gain i am taking a time out on my weightlifting/bodybuilding routine, because i feel sore. literally. :) anyway, i believe in the saying that with no pain, there's no gain. i'm some sort of masochist, in the sense that i cannot feel anything until i feel pain. i am happy in some extent when i feel pain, because i feel alive. i believe that pain itself is a gain -- pain that comes with anything you do is a consequence of your action. this you gain for doing something, or some else doing something, or even something happening. feeling is very important, and one of the most moving and important feelings is the feeling of pain. so my chest muscles are getting bigger -- i see the difference after just about a month and some of bench presses and a whole slew of chest exercises. i cannot gain this without the pain i feel right now. they're really sore! :) well, again, no pain no gain. chill...

some things to think about... generally, im an intellectual person who gets a kick out of intellectual challenges. however, i am also a social critique and i'm not liking what i'm seeing. as an intellectual person, i value knowledge and intellect very much. attempts to stop learning and stagnate disgust me, and are acts that i consider unacceptable. however, everyone has his own preferences, history and reason. cutting myself some slack will only allow me to learn from other people, what they wouldn't want to learn for themselves. the world is a really nice place to live in, even if the world contains a lot of people you couldn't care less about. even if you think the world is better off without other people, you just have to live with the fact thaty they have their lives too, and you can't do anything about that. unless of course you take everyone out, which is really just out of the question. learning i believe is a life long process, which my mother

engaging hyper mode... yesterday, i got the chance to drive -- i mean really drive from one place to another. i will always remember experience, as well as the feeling of being in control. now i know why people want to be all-powerful and self-serving tyrants. i now know how much fun it is to take the path you want to take, and be in control of all the actions that you will take as well as the fate of other people (my passengers) for that matter. it's a nice feeling -- to be able to go on a pace that you set by yourself, or go with the flow. however way i put it, driving is a very rewarding, but tiring experience. at some time, i had to stop and replenish my stock -- it was easily exhausting. now i am engaging myself (my brain in particular) in hypermode. this hypermode, is something that is characterized by the thirst for something to think about. it is characterized by a sudden surge of the desire to think and do something intellectual. and this happens when i am inspir

accomplishmets? now how do you feel? last time, work was really on my mind. i kept my mind off a lot of things, which i needed to take my mind away from. now, i still have to work, but things have been moving in a slightly different direction and pace. now, everything is wayward, and hectic. no way i could start contemplating on things like life and love. or is that true... the kaliwa watershed pollution modeeling module is currently at 60%, is doping great. the deadline of the whole software is on the 15th of june, which gives me lots of time to get it up to 90% before the month ends. there are a lot of things that still need to be done, but i'm getting the help. the wireless lan card is working, and alas i had to recompile the kernel. however, what i feared about recompiling on my measly machine, is really negligible. the laptop seemed to muster just enough power to be able to compile the whole kernel without problems -- under an hour at that! which really got me to tru

work, work, work... currently, my interests and activities are taking a whole lot out of my day. but i do need to work on a few certain things that need to be taken care of ASAP. they are (for those who really want to know... ;-) ): -- the kaliwa watershed pollution modelling module, being developed in C++ which is due at the end of the month. -- making the wireless linksys lan card work in linux (my trusty laptop lattie which runs a meager 266 Mhz can't take compiling the kernel and stuff, so i'm looking for quick fix solutions.) -- my thesis proposal on a projective load balancing algorithm for loosely coupled parallel computing architectures. this is really urgent, and currenlty it's only somewhere between 30-40% done. it's also due at the end of the summer period. now that i've been really busy, i'm getting the hang of it once more. and did i mention my goal to buff up and be able to walk around the campus in a tightly fitting muscle shirt an