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Showing posts from June, 2007

Sniffles and Coffers

So I'm down with the cough and I feel the sniffles coming along. Lots of things happening during the weekend, the O&B peeps having a party, the guys at Friendster wanting to do a night out, and the meeting with the best friend and high school editor in chief slash friend on Saturday.

It's just sad that I might not be able to make it to any of these things lined up especially since my situation is not improving. The doctor recommended me a set of meds to take, and I got to stick to it -- 1,300 Php for medicines to be had for three days, they damned better work.

Aside from all this, it just feels so good to be loved.

CHill.

Uy, Astig!

Day 1 back in school. I can say I missed it, but also that I'm glad I've been over most of the stuff I need to go through as far as subjects are concerned. I never thought about how clueless I was back then until now that I'm pretty much looking back and seeing myself in a lot of the children I study with in the CMSC 150 class -- both lecture and laboratory classes.

So I guess I'm thankful that I don't have to do it again for four or five subjects. I'm very thankful that now I'm working a job and that I'm pretty much finishing this BSCS as a formality more than a requirement. I guess you really change perspectives when you get into the industry for a while and then get back to school.

For one thing, I don't like being called "kuya" even though obviously I'm older than almost everyone there. Another thing is that working people seem to be "cool" for some people -- and I still don't know how to deal with the "uy, astig y…

How It's Supposed To Be

After all that I've been through in my life -- and even if the people I love are far away from me -- there's one thing that holds through: God Loves You and Your Family. Notice I didn't say "my", because I believe this holds through for everyone who's ever cared to talk to and listen to the Lord. The reason I say this is that it only takes a few moments to realize that when I look back at my life I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for my family and the Lord.

I have been through a lot of things, and the Lord has been with me all the way. This is not a truism, this is the truth -- and when I've stumbled and fallen, the Lord has been there to pick me up and console me. When I succeeded with an endeavor the Lord has been there to celebrate with me.

And now I walk and live my life with the Lord by my side constantly thanking Him and living my life as I would according to His word and his teachings. He is wise above all: accepting this fact allows me to …

Peace

At Last.

When you know the person you love loves you too there's nothing else that will make you feel peace, joy, and calm. It just feels so good to be loved.

And I'm definitely loving this.

CHill.

Nothing Time Can't Heal

I have proven that there is nothing time can't heal -- and nothing that time can't weather away. Emo mode and all, I can say validation doesn't come from input -- it's in the processing.

When I got into "emo" mode last week I was forgetting something fundamental: it takes two to tango. When you feel this heavy feeling in your heart because of someone or how the things between you and that someone is making you feel, you better go and see that person. You don't need to talk about it: rather just *be* with that person. If the feeling is replaced by a feeling of calm, peace, and joy then you know that "emo mode" will be temporary.

Some people call it missing someone. I forgot how that feels because I've been used to having people I love be far from me and staying in touch with them. Mom and dad (happy father's day!) are in the US and because of the Internet, I'm not missing them too much. My sister's a couple hours drive away from whe…

Paying Off

The numbers are in and it's pretty evident. Experience plus smart thinking equates to amazing results. When we learn from what we've learned in the past and use that experience to "do the right thing" this time around we solve problems more systematically and with a clear plan of action. It pays to earn as much experience as you can.

And when you've earned the experience (and while earning) we need to learn from the experience. I started C++ programming when I was on my senior year in high school -- now I look back and I see how far I've gone. I also see now where I want to go, and where I'm at, as well as what I need to do to get to where I want to get to.

Now the question is when do I want to get to where I want to go. And now I think I'd like to go set a goal for the end of the year and it makes me want to look at my goals I've set when I was 14 (close to 10 years ago) whether I'm still on track or whether I still want to stick to these goals…

And So We Do It Again

I'm still at the office and I don't feel bad about it. I have just implemented a feature or change which required me to take two days of very little work and a literal escape (went home to Laguna and bonded with family -- and my niece and nephew) and lots and lots of mental cartwheels. I implemented the fix for a couple hours and just now I'm waiting for it to get tested.

That's a couple days of work done in a couple of hours. Thank God for rest and inspiration. Now though I need to let her (the lady I love) know that I'm still alive, and that I just needed to step away and concentrate.

I also need to get some sleep but my brain is racing. I am psyched that I actually think I've got this problem solved in close to record time!

CHill!

All's Fair

in Love and War. That's what they say.

I've been in emo mode the past couple of days, so much so that I needed to schedule dinner+coffee+stories with the best lady friend of ten years (and I never thought I'd be able to have a long term relationship ever), just to get stuff off my chest. I felt so down for no apparent reason that I didn't feel like I would be able to get out of it alone.

And I was right.

I needed to hear it from a friend straight up: "You're stupid you know..."

I was beating up myself for something I walked myself into. I was telling myself "I need the pain" when I really was saying "I don't want to take control of my situation". There's so much more in store in life, but I'm beating myself up because I was giving up in doing whatever I can (and trusting the Lord in His plan for me). It's not so much that I've taken control and am getting lost: it's the other way around -- that I didn't take co…

When Things Aren't Going Your Way

You find a distraction. For some people that's work. For some people that's a movie alone. For some people there's a hobby, a vice, a routine. You need something which would change your current mood. For me, that's talking to people dear to me, connecting with friends, and just stopping whatever I'm doing to "smell the roses" and be able to connect.

Right now I'm going through the usual "month before my birthday" blues, when I look at my life and see myself no better than I was the year before. I see how far I've gone, how much I've improved, and how much I still have to go through. I see how my life has gone and whether I like what I currently am.

This year, I'm sad. I'm sad not because I haven't met my targets -- but that I've met them and exceeded them, that I'm sad I don't give myself enough credit for what I'm worth. I'm sad that I actually underestimate myself most of the time. Though I feel like e…

Independence Day Weekend

This is another reflection post, so if you don't like reading these kinds of posts, please stop reading now. Consider yourself warned.

So we've turned 109 years as a nation of false hopes and broken dreams -- of walking wannabe's and has been never were. We've reduced our independence into something we celebrate once a year and completely forget every other day. Can you really call the Philippines independent?

We can't even produce enough food to sustain our population.

We can't even produce enough graduates of quality to fill the jobs we create.

We can't even keep the people who can help change the Philippines in the country.

We can't even elect a decent set of leaders to lead the country.

We can't even be truly competitive in the global economy.

We can't even begin to realize our true potentials.

We can't even create our own identity.

We can't even unite to be truly independent.

We can't even stand on our own feet to become the country that …

Windows Live Anybody?

I am writing this post using the Windows Live Writer Beta 2, and I really think this is a genuinely good tool from Microsoft. I know, I know, I'm not the biggest Microsoft fan out there. But this product -- and it being free -- is definitely a good move.Once Microsoft realizes that Open Source is the way to go, then maybe they'll have a good start to surviving this software business thing... And even if everything starts being on the Web/Internet, products like these will definitely give a good impression to the users and the developers who would want to work with (not necessarily the company) but the product.I sure hope they realize that this is definitely a good move. Props to Ealden for the link, and Microsoft for a job well done (so far).Chill!

Proud Filipinos

Are Filipino's really proud of their heritage? How about the circumstances of the Filipino people? How about the color of the skin, the shape of the face, the length and width of the noses? How about the Language(s)?

For some reason I find a lot of Filipino's patronizing (even using) foreign languages in normal everyday situations. I'm guilty, I am more comfortable (not necessarily better) at writing English than Tagalog (Yes, my language is Tagalog, not the bastardized notion of a single language called Filipino that never was really the only language Filipinos know nor use). Although I admit that I write English a lot, the reason is being that I write more stuff on the Web than in any other medium -- and I want people who read and understand English to be able to read what I write: which is basically Filipino's and any other English speaking nation out there.

But when you meet me in the Philippines, you can talk to me in Tagalog (note again, I really mean Tagalog) and …

Taking Your Weekend

I've recently been re-reading Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People which makes me want to write my personal mission statement. I don't think I can do something like that right now, it seems that although I know what my life's passion is and that I have already found purpose, I still think I need to work on a concrete mission. Something that tells me and other people what I want to be about -- or what I am living for.

A family is something that I've always wanted to have. Sure, I'm not great with relationships -- maybe because I choose partners that are at a different stage in life (even if we're the same age or what not) or maybe because I really cannot handle one yet -- but I do try my best to get better at it.

I know I love to teach and share the knowledge. That I think is the reason why I tend to write a lot and at one point in time have started writing a book. I should follow through with this teaching and sharing knowledge gig but I do…

Now on 3G and liking it

I'm posting this message as I'm in a cab, hooked up the Nokia E61 issued by the local Friendster partner so that I can practically get online anytime anywhere. Sure enough, it's effective.

Thanks to modern technology, it's easier to get things done wherever we are.

I don't think it's too much of a bad thing, granted that I just had quality time with the lady I'm seeing and have fallen in love with.

Good thing these devices have off switches.

CHill!