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Motivation

It's such a powerful thing, yet it's something we just create out of the blue. Although it's not as simple to manufacture as say, saliva, it's still something very important not only in our bodily functions but for the advancement of our self image, being, and awarenes. Motivation, the factor which determines whether or not you do something, is what life is made of. And if you're not as motivated as the other person, chances are that other person will get ahead better.

I am currently going through old email, and even old documents. I think it's high time that I got organized, but my problem is motivation. I'm the only one going through my computer, and I kinda like wading through tons and tons of documents related to my thesis. However, I don't really think it's fun anymore when I get distracted by things that I don't need to see popping up right beside what I'm looking for. That's why I like going to the library and working in silence, compared to staying at a friends place where human interactions tend to get in the way. Oh well...

Another thing I should be doing right now is coding on a parallized stream delineation code for the ICS cluster, and the ASTI cluster (if it's still available). I'm also reading up on computational fluid dynamics, and it seems that I need to brush up on the mathematical methods I would be needing and implementing for these projects.

Writing my thesis paper is another thing that I should get motivated with -- but I already got that covered. I use the prospect of working abroad ASAP (or by October) as a motivating factor. That is, aside from the satisfaction I'd gain for overcoming a challenge to myself to be one of the few students from the ICS that graduates from the BS course doing the thesis. Another motivation I'd gain is the fact that I would be able to contribute to the body of knowledge of the world -- might be worthless to most people I know but it isn't worthless to me.

Another thing I need to be motivated with is getting a stable and "real" relationship. It seems that most relationships that I've had in the past were merely "flings" and when I had girlfriends, we were "us" just for the sake of being "us". If that doesn't make any sense, well to put it bluntly I was fooling around and enjoying it. I did love them for some time, but when the love has gone, I leave. Too bad for me, I'm tasting the karma of life. Anyway, I should get motivated to actually start caring for someone special again -- I don't know if it's a confidence problem because I sure as hell don't have a problem with my confidence. Or find a special someone first for that matter.

Anyway, I should get that hose dad needs to clean the car... I should go home now. I still need motivation.

Oh well...

Chill...

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