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Why I Try...

I've just started to work and things have been looking up. I'm currently adjusting to the office environment, and the work that I'm doing. I've also been adjusting (quite well) with the housemates I have and the commute from Boni ave. to Ayala Ave. Now why I try convincing my girlfriend that I love her is something else I cannot fathom.

I don't know why I need to convince her, or why I even try. I love her, that's sure. But she's having issues with me working and being far away from each other. I don't seem to have any problems, but I can sense that she's not fine with it. Now I have to worry about work, and eventually school which starts tomorrow (I haven't registered yet even).

I was fine with talking over the phone, and thanks to the Sun cellular network, calls are free (but are cut at 15 minutes, which I don't mind much). However my girlfriend has times when she'd want to talk until the wee hours of the morning, which I couldn't really deal with well having work and all. Now she leaves me hanging by saying "I'm not sure I love you...". Say what?! She's not sure (or she can't tell) whether she loves me.

She feels that for the past few days, she's just a "wallflower" with me being busy and all. I'm not going to justify it when I tell her that I'll be sleeping now but in a while getting midnight snacks and an early morning movie with my housemates. I'm being honest to her, as honest as honest can be, but she still demands more. I knew I got myself into something when I found out that she's high maintenance and demanding. Now tell me about high maintenance because she's something else.

But I love her. That's for sure. I don't know what to tell her anymore, other than that I do love her and I'm willing to work things out -- but right now it seems na she's not into working things out. We had a fight earlier, over the phone, involving her not being sure whether or not to contiue the relationship. But I'm not into thinking over things for too long, and I told her that I couldn't take any more of the conversation, hung up, and left for the office with my cellphone turned off and charging at home.

If you're reading this now baby, I'm really really sorry. I just need to blow off some steam, kasi I lost my temper. It's the pressure and the stress getting to me, and I hope you'll understand. I pray that you can forgive me, and that you'd be willing to ride this through. I've put in so much of me in this relationship, and I wouldn't want it to get ruined over some arrangement and the physical distance between us.

I love you baby.



  1. dude,

    your relationship isn't ready for your entry into the philippine labor force yet. i strongly advise you to break up as friends before you two break up with only bitterness in your hearts. it's nobody's fault; that's just the way it is in the geographical blink of the earth's eye.

    where'sh the frikkin shot glassh?


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