Skip to main content

Changing Pace

When I was younger in life I wanted to achieve more. I had a list of things I wanted to be able to do. I also had a list of places I wanted to go. People I wanted to meet. Foods I wanted to eat. Today though, as I near my 29th birthday I find myself not wanting more -- instead I'm wanting less. I no longer feel this need to achieve things that I thought were important. A lot of things in my life now seem more important than the achievements, the places to go, food to eat, and experiences to tick off my list. Instead I find myself now wanting to enjoy what I have more than getting more.

At this point in my life, I look back at who I was and I realize that the person I wanted to be wasn't really the person I'd like to become. I used to think that if I made more money, or lived in a certain place, or lived a certain kind of lifestyle, that I would be happier and more fulfilled. Instead now I'm happier just spending time with my daughter, sleeping in on a Sunday, not putting too much pressure on myself by trying to do a lot of things at the same time, and becoming better at using my time at work.

Today I feel like I've reached a certain level of satisfaction. It's not contentment but it's a recognition that I'm at a certain level in my life (career, financial, skill-wise, etc.) and that I'm satisfied. I still want to improve but I think I'm a little more aware now of the things that make me happy, the kind of work I really want to do, and my definition of success is ever so clearer. Now challenges are a little more manageable and every chance at learning is a joy. I'm learning so much even at this point in my life and career and I'm spending my energy on efforts that matter to me.

It's been three months since I wrote on this blog and the last time was my anticipation of my wife and daughter coming back to Australia. We've since moved home -- to a smaller and cozier place -- and I've been getting more and more time playing the guitar at the church we're attending. We've established new bonds of friendship and feel like we're part of a new family here. I've also given a tech talk while I was in Mountain View which I never thought would have gotten more than 5 thousand views.

This coming year I think I'm going to take it slow and concentrate more on being effective instead of trying to be more productive. Better use of energy is the new focus. It's time to optimize and I'm going to have to let go of a few things that I cannot give my full focus on.

With that said I just have to say it again: I am satisfied where I am with my life and the pace at which my life is going.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Futures and Options III: Economics, Journalism, or Computer Science

I realise it's been a year since my previous post on this blog, and I've found myself having very little time to do another "brain dump" on the subject of my early choices in life. With that in mind (and as I'll be traveling again soon) I get to think a little more and reflect on a few of the things that have happened.

Much like the previous post, this one's set in high school -- where I was part of the swimming team, in a band, had been programming with Turbo Pascal, Java, and then C++ later on, and was about to make a choice that would literally change the course of my life. This one is about the choices I made, and the ones that were made for me.

Note: This is part 3 of a series about my early choices in life which have gotten me to where I am today. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts, as well as for your reading through this series!


Writing Again

It's 2019 and I just realised that I've not written on this blog for a long while. I feel a little bad about this so I'm picking it back up again. More importantly, I've limited my social media to just Twitter (I've deleted all my Facebook-related accounts) and will be writing more on the blog instead of engaging in other social media sites. If you want to reach me directly, you can also reach me through my keybase.io account for encrypted communication. If you have my phone number, you can also contact me through Signal. Quite a number of things have happened in the past few years and here's a quick update on things that I can share:

I've been working on XRay, a function call tracing system now part of the LLVM project. This took a good two and some years of my time at Google.Most recently I've moved to the Chrome Operations Team still here in Google Sydney. I can't give specifics yet of what I'll be working on, so stay tuned.There've been c…

Rant: Despair and Hopelessness

This weekend I had the chance to do a Google+ hangout with my father in the Philippines. He and I don't talk often but we do have a very good relationship. My dad is cool like that. In this hangout we talked about a few things happening in the Philippines and I've gotten the feeling that my homeland is getting ever deeper into economic disrepair, and that the politics to which I've come to be hopeless on is beyond repair. I've wanted to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for a while now, so if you would indulge me please read on.

Background

I grew up in a part of the Philippines where the land is fertile, there are thriving industries, and there's a certain sense of abundance and stability. This part of the Philippines has good schools, good employment opportunities (mostly industrial and service industries), good investment opportunities (real-estate and agricultural), and good potential for growth. This was true when I was young and this is tr…