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Changing Pace

When I was younger in life I wanted to achieve more. I had a list of things I wanted to be able to do. I also had a list of places I wanted to go. People I wanted to meet. Foods I wanted to eat. Today though, as I near my 29th birthday I find myself not wanting more -- instead I'm wanting less. I no longer feel this need to achieve things that I thought were important. A lot of things in my life now seem more important than the achievements, the places to go, food to eat, and experiences to tick off my list. Instead I find myself now wanting to enjoy what I have more than getting more.

At this point in my life, I look back at who I was and I realize that the person I wanted to be wasn't really the person I'd like to become. I used to think that if I made more money, or lived in a certain place, or lived a certain kind of lifestyle, that I would be happier and more fulfilled. Instead now I'm happier just spending time with my daughter, sleeping in on a Sunday, not putting too much pressure on myself by trying to do a lot of things at the same time, and becoming better at using my time at work.

Today I feel like I've reached a certain level of satisfaction. It's not contentment but it's a recognition that I'm at a certain level in my life (career, financial, skill-wise, etc.) and that I'm satisfied. I still want to improve but I think I'm a little more aware now of the things that make me happy, the kind of work I really want to do, and my definition of success is ever so clearer. Now challenges are a little more manageable and every chance at learning is a joy. I'm learning so much even at this point in my life and career and I'm spending my energy on efforts that matter to me.

It's been three months since I wrote on this blog and the last time was my anticipation of my wife and daughter coming back to Australia. We've since moved home -- to a smaller and cozier place -- and I've been getting more and more time playing the guitar at the church we're attending. We've established new bonds of friendship and feel like we're part of a new family here. I've also given a tech talk while I was in Mountain View which I never thought would have gotten more than 5 thousand views.

This coming year I think I'm going to take it slow and concentrate more on being effective instead of trying to be more productive. Better use of energy is the new focus. It's time to optimize and I'm going to have to let go of a few things that I cannot give my full focus on.

With that said I just have to say it again: I am satisfied where I am with my life and the pace at which my life is going.

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