Skip to main content
over.

now i am officially over. done with the stuff i used to do, which are walk around thinking that i'm a loser. how could i live like this? i thought so too.

now i've seen that the only person i need to really love me is me. the only person that needs to tell me that i'm not a loser is me. and the only person i need to believe in is me. self centric? hell yeah.

there is still room in my heart for love. that is, i still reserve some space in my heart to the someone who will inderstand me, be there for me, and love me. i wouldn't want to waste any more of my time on someone that's not gonna give me the attantion that i give her. i wouldn't want to be any more inconsiderate to myself than what i've already been. i want to move on, and that's what i've done.

i know i need to get out and meet people. that's the least i can do for myself. and that's the most i can do right now. although my priorities have already shifted, i know that i have to give myself space and time to be able to think ahead and go ahead.

moving on is a matter of choice, and i choose to do it now.

i've always had the chance to back out, but i was too darn proud of myself that i wouldn't want to quit when evidently it was time to. now i'm free of the burden which i unneccessarily put on myself. i feel lighter now, and free of the cudgels which i put on myself.

now i can go out, and be myself and hope that someone will like me for who i am.

thanks for the memories that you've given me elvine, but i'm not sure if i'll keep them happily. you know i love you, and i've done my part. it's over, and i know it. if you want me back, tell me. otherwise, you can count that more or less, i won't bother you anymore.

now i'm really chillin'... =)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Futures and Options III: Economics, Journalism, or Computer Science

I realise it's been a year since my previous post on this blog, and I've found myself having very little time to do another "brain dump" on the subject of my early choices in life. With that in mind (and as I'll be traveling again soon) I get to think a little more and reflect on a few of the things that have happened.

Much like the previous post, this one's set in high school -- where I was part of the swimming team, in a band, had been programming with Turbo Pascal, Java, and then C++ later on, and was about to make a choice that would literally change the course of my life. This one is about the choices I made, and the ones that were made for me.

Note: This is part 3 of a series about my early choices in life which have gotten me to where I am today. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts, as well as for your reading through this series!


Rant: Despair and Hopelessness

This weekend I had the chance to do a Google+ hangout with my father in the Philippines. He and I don't talk often but we do have a very good relationship. My dad is cool like that. In this hangout we talked about a few things happening in the Philippines and I've gotten the feeling that my homeland is getting ever deeper into economic disrepair, and that the politics to which I've come to be hopeless on is beyond repair. I've wanted to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for a while now, so if you would indulge me please read on.

Background

I grew up in a part of the Philippines where the land is fertile, there are thriving industries, and there's a certain sense of abundance and stability. This part of the Philippines has good schools, good employment opportunities (mostly industrial and service industries), good investment opportunities (real-estate and agricultural), and good potential for growth. This was true when I was young and this is tr…

Get a Life Coach

Have you ever played a sport whether individual or team sports where your top performance was required for any measure of success? If you have, you may have had the benefit of at least one coach guiding you to point out better form, better strategies, alternative approaches, keeping you accountable, identifying our strengths and weaknesses, and overall telling you to listen to your body and focus on your goals. If you haven't then would you like to have someone on your side, not judging you then generally cheering you on while you attempt to achieve whatever your goals are? For the past year I've been working with a life coach and I can say it's worked so well for me that I cannot help but recommend everyone consider investing in life coaching.

I used to swim back when I was a student in university as part of the varsity team. I had a number of coaches then who taught me not just the technical aspects of swimming, but also the mental fortitude required to train effectively…