Skip to main content
over.

now i am officially over. done with the stuff i used to do, which are walk around thinking that i'm a loser. how could i live like this? i thought so too.

now i've seen that the only person i need to really love me is me. the only person that needs to tell me that i'm not a loser is me. and the only person i need to believe in is me. self centric? hell yeah.

there is still room in my heart for love. that is, i still reserve some space in my heart to the someone who will inderstand me, be there for me, and love me. i wouldn't want to waste any more of my time on someone that's not gonna give me the attantion that i give her. i wouldn't want to be any more inconsiderate to myself than what i've already been. i want to move on, and that's what i've done.

i know i need to get out and meet people. that's the least i can do for myself. and that's the most i can do right now. although my priorities have already shifted, i know that i have to give myself space and time to be able to think ahead and go ahead.

moving on is a matter of choice, and i choose to do it now.

i've always had the chance to back out, but i was too darn proud of myself that i wouldn't want to quit when evidently it was time to. now i'm free of the burden which i unneccessarily put on myself. i feel lighter now, and free of the cudgels which i put on myself.

now i can go out, and be myself and hope that someone will like me for who i am.

thanks for the memories that you've given me elvine, but i'm not sure if i'll keep them happily. you know i love you, and i've done my part. it's over, and i know it. if you want me back, tell me. otherwise, you can count that more or less, i won't bother you anymore.

now i'm really chillin'... =)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I

So much for that...

I just came home from the seminar regarding my proposed load balancing algorithm. I tried to get as candid as I can, but still half of what I said was jargon -- which made me explain the thing in layman's terms and using more colloquial examples. I was wearing a black suit, (chinese collared americana suit that is), gray slacks, black leather belt (perry ellis), and leather shoes (by bristol). I'm beginning to sound like a caption to a fashion mag's pic, but I digress... So there I was, waiting for the seminar to start. As a speaker, I conducted myself properly and tried to get things cleared out with my co-presentors. I was asuuming that they knew at least half of what they were supposed to talk about, and that they knew how to speak in front of a crowd. BUT NO... I sat through two presentors, the first one reading the presentation of the projection, and then doing no explaining whatsoever. I didn't get that because she prepared her own slides, and prepared the hand

Mobility

Everyday, I am getting fascinated more and more by the technology literally in the palm of my hands when I look at and use my cellular phone. Thanks to the ingenuity and vision of the makers of the Sony Ericsson K750i, I enjoy the features that make my life a little more enjoyable and bearable amidst the hectic schedule I have. Like the fact that I can actually access my email from my cellphone using IMAP4+TLS/SSL?! If only it wasn't so darned expensive to access information through the SMART's GPRS network... Anyway, this is how my dad's cellphone looks like (treated at an angle up close and embarassingly personal). I wanted to see how it would turn out treated as a subject in black and white. I don't know why I feel that the omnipotence and omnipresence of anything is best captured using black and white photos. I feel that it preserves the object, but takes out the frills and color otherwise distractions to the scene. I feel that it also allows me to capture what is