Skip to main content
bad timing...

when you get to know people, you have so mcuh time in the world to wait until you know what happens next. but sometimes, there's no continuation. nothing after the initial hi/hello.

i've been contemplating on a certain event in my life when i was in hollywood. i was approached by two ladies, tracy and amber. they were really friendly -- not to mention young, gorgeous, and game. and instead of ceasing the moment, i chickened out. i didn't even get their numbers. poor me.

what should i have done? i should have gotten their numbers at least. after all, what have i got to lose? i was alone, and they approached me. they even wanted to have my beads, but that's a different story. but then i got to thinking that there was one particular reason why i chickened out.

it was the girl i loved so dearly. even though we were not in a relationship, i couldn't stop thinking about her during that time. she was all that was on my mind. i saw what i wanted to see, and not what whas i was supposed to see. i though about things that i wanted to think, instead of thinking about the things i had to think about.

and so there they went... out into the night. as i drank coffee on the way back to my grandpa's apartment at la brea avenue, i didn't realize that i could've been friends with a pair of gorgeous girls, any of whom could have been my girlfriend even for a short time.

but i hope i meet any one of the two when i get back to LA. i'd sure love to get to know them better. but now, it's too late.

oh well, contemplating is something i really do not want to do, but sometimes is the only thing i can do.

til next time... chill...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I

From FOMO to JOMO

Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or

Keeping a work log

I have been keeping a journal for my personal life with some regularity for the good part of 4 years. The difference between my earlier attempts at journaling before four years ago is the regularity and the structure. I started with a very structured and regimented journal (doing it everyday with prompts and blanks to fill), to a ruled journal notebook, then a plain notebook (no rules nor grids in the pages), and then settling on a dot-grid notebook. This allows me to doodle and write free-form to help me commit thoughts and observations of my day but it was mostly for archival and looking back to "feel good" or reminisce (also to sum up a month, a year, etc.) The approach helps a lot with self-improvement in terms of my mental health and my reflection to see where I was a specific amount of time ago and whenever I was reading it again. In a previous post I wrote about keeping a work log, and I realised I only mentioned that in passing. In this post I detail the structure of