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wakeup call

A couple of days ago, I felt the worst feeling a person seemingly on top of the world could possibly feel. I found out that there was a higher peak.

You know that feeling where you do your best to get to where you are now, and then suddenly you find out that you want to somewhere else when you get there? It isn't really regret, but it's like the feeling you get when you finally tear the gift wrapping of your most awaited gift, only to find out that you already have it. It's like working hard for something you thought you really wanted, only to find out that you wanted something more and that you have to work for it again.

Life's been always like that to me. When I thought I had what I wanted, I see something I want more. It's like a vicious cycle sucking me into eternity. I feel as though I will never satisfy myself and my hunger for a lot of things. And when I get hungy, I get really hungry. Hungry for things I know I can work for, and that I will work for.

But it's not material, it's more of condition. I work hard to be able to get to where I am now, and then I find out that I want to be somewhere else -- somewhere higher. And to get to that somewhere higher, I have to work harder. Seems like I need to work harder -- doubly hard than what I have done before.

Hope i get to that somewhere fast.

Chill...

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