Skip to main content

wakeup call

A couple of days ago, I felt the worst feeling a person seemingly on top of the world could possibly feel. I found out that there was a higher peak.

You know that feeling where you do your best to get to where you are now, and then suddenly you find out that you want to somewhere else when you get there? It isn't really regret, but it's like the feeling you get when you finally tear the gift wrapping of your most awaited gift, only to find out that you already have it. It's like working hard for something you thought you really wanted, only to find out that you wanted something more and that you have to work for it again.

Life's been always like that to me. When I thought I had what I wanted, I see something I want more. It's like a vicious cycle sucking me into eternity. I feel as though I will never satisfy myself and my hunger for a lot of things. And when I get hungy, I get really hungry. Hungry for things I know I can work for, and that I will work for.

But it's not material, it's more of condition. I work hard to be able to get to where I am now, and then I find out that I want to be somewhere else -- somewhere higher. And to get to that somewhere higher, I have to work harder. Seems like I need to work harder -- doubly hard than what I have done before.

Hope i get to that somewhere fast.

Chill...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I

From FOMO to JOMO

Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or

Reconnecting with people

2021 started with a a good sense of connection for me, having spent time with friends and family in a simple celebration of the oncoming year. The transition from 2020 to 2021 and being able to look back at a good part of my recent history got me thinking about how life has been for me and the family for the past decade. There’ve been a lot of people that I’ve met and become friends with while there are those that I’ve left behind and lost touch with. There’s a saying about treating old friends different from new ones, which I do appreciate now that I’m a bit older. It also means that my relationships with people that I get to spend a good amount of time with take a different shape. This reflection has given me some time and space to think about what it means to reconnect with people. Friends are the family we choose ourselves. — Edna Buchman I have the privilege of having life-long friends that I don’t always stay in regular contact with. From my perspective, if I consider you a frien