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The CyberLizard on Vacation!

The CyberLizard

Now is the time that I envy people -- people who can afford to take vacations, and have fun while they're at it. I definitely would like to know how fun it is to be able to enjoy a vacation... The last time I had a real vacation, was a few thousand miles away from home. And even then, it didn't ever seem like a vacation -- until I decided to make it one (a couple of days just before I was about to get back home).

I miss taking breaks that actually re-charges me, and not make me worry more. I'm now accepting the fact the I have to go to work and school on Monday, with this raging stuffy nose I have and do my thesis and work tasks while I'm at it. I'm currently (at the moment) waiting for the tests to finish at the ASTI cluster, which I wish I put a website on (must talk to sir Denis about that) to advertise what the ASTI and I have been up to on that Beowulf cluster.

I am also worrying HOW I could come up with a heterogeneous cluster that I can actually use (for my thesis) and not have to worry other people that will be sharing resources with me. Some faculty members at the ICS just definitely don't care whether I am running tests on the cluster, and won't think twice on removing the Ethernet link cables while I'm not there. Fortunately it hasn't caused a catastrophic test failure, but it does affect my morale more than anything. Now I'm convinced that even people at the Institute I'm studying in don't really care whether someone is really passionate about what they're doing -- they just worry about games, and meeting the grade deadline hoping and praying that the students the have taught actually learned something at least. I'm now looking for external sources of help and encouragement.

And speaking of encouragement, I remember my friend Paul complaining that the people at the ICS really don't care whether you succeed in your thesis or not -- and they don't really care that you actually do your thesis or not. Now I know what he means and it seems evident to me that they're hell bent on getting rid of students in one way or another. Now I'm beginning to doubt whether it would be worth being amidst people who teach just because nobody else would do it and don't care less if they do a good job or not. Now I think I would understand why the more talented and better instructors and professors from UPLB would rather teach somewhere else -- because they want to be paid right for the job they love doing, and would like to continue teaching without being dragged down by your colleagues who couldn't care less about the students. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but that's how I definitely feel right now.

So it seems that the link above doesn't relate to anything I've been saying, but I would like to think that The Cyberlizard has more things going for him now than while he felt trapped and obligated to drag himself to school. It would seem that I would rather be able to do my thing and be paid and encouraged while at it, compared to being ignored and let alone to perform whatever I would like to do in a n environment supposedly conducive to or contributory to excellence. I never thought that excellence came from being ignored and not valued for. Maybe I'm wrong there.

Iced, chilled, and burnt...

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