Skip to main content

Feel Old?

How to not feel old when anonymous in the middle of a party... Well, basically... I don't know. Why? Because that's precisely how I felt when I was at a party a couple of hours back. I felt really old not only because of the fact that it was a dance party, and that the beer I like the most to drink was for old people (San Miguel Super Dry) and wasn't being sold -- but more because I felt really old compared to all the young ladies flaunting their bodies and rubbing theirs with mine. I simply felt too old for the nightlife that young people (or someone I used to be) really wanted every week. People mostly in the good young years of college life want to drink, get drunk, get a gorgeous partner, have fun (or more fun than what's already offered), and live to drink another day.

However, I felt old and held back -- mainly because I should be in the office by 8 am, at school by 10 am, spending the day at the mall by 3 pm, and having fun with my older cousins during the wee hours of the night. Now I was surrounded by young ladies, most of whom seemed available and fun loving, and all I can think of is how do i finish the beer I don't really like to drink (San Mig Light). A cigarette should make me feel a little better, but even that made me feel old.

I merely stared at the girating bodies, and held my seat at the bar. I could have waited a little later for some of the girls to settle down at the bar, and picked up a conversation with one of the hotties, but the music was dance -- and too loud to make conversation with. I could've chosen to dance, but then I didn't feel like dancing with the bad beer in my belly and the taste of it at my throat. Maybe if I came to the party with at least one guy friend also looking for a good time, then things could've looked a lot better. But alas, I FELT OLD.

So I picked myself up, emptied my bladder, and then bid goodbye to the person I bought the ticket from. She seemed a nice girl, and a conversation with her could've made the night a little more enjoyable. But she was manning the door, and I couldn't wait for her another hour or so of feeling old and alone. Maybe if I only talked to my guy friend who knew a couple of girls (actually from the sorority affiliated with the fraternity which sponsored the party) to actually hook me up with one or a couple of girls then the night could have turned out differently.

What could be possibly wrong with me? I intend to find out, when I go out again tonight with my cousins to a guy's night out. Hopefully I get some answers and redeem myself from the sucky party that I got myself into a couple of hours ago. Heck, the next time I got to a party, I'll make sure that I go alone to a party which I want to be in, and not just buy the ticket from a classmate that looked great and seemed very enticing.

Either that, or I go with a couple of friends and have a nice time with friends. OR, I enjoy anyway I can drinking the beer that I want to drink, and dancing to the tunes that are worth dancing too.

I NEED TO BE CHILLED.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

From FOMO to JOMO

Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or th…

A Passion Project

I was so moved today by the prospect of a passion project that I took some time on a Friday night to get it done. Let me present the #RedJeans project over at redjeans.org. I've found myself wanting to work on a project that came purely from the heart and one that was very dear to me, something that is personal, and connects with a larger community of people in the world.
The idea for redjeans.org came to me as a hint when I was writing up my reflection for 2018. I realised that I didn't spend quite as much time identifying with and working with a community. I did a bit of soul-searching and found that one of the activities I really enjoyed and cherished in years past is donating blood -- and I keep wondering why not more people do it. It was an idle thought but then a conversation with someone where I described why I wrote down "donate blood more often" in 2019 became an idea where instead of just me doing it, how about if I get my friends to do it too?

I left it a…

Futures and Options I: My Introduction to Computing

I've recently been thinking about how my decisions early in life have done me good to put me where I'm at right now. I've certainly lived a very fortunate life -- been blessed with so many good things and been down-right lucky being at the right place at the right time. My 30 year journey to where I am now has been very interesting. I can pretty much say that the experiences I've had up to this point have very much contributed to making me who I am -- and that I regret nothing. Still though I keep thinking about what my life would be like if I hadn't made certain choices I did make throughout the years. There are a few choices I've made that I've stuck to and I keep thinking about wondering "what if I made a different choice instead" -- and the more I think about it, the more I'm happy about the decisions I've made.

Note: This is Part 1 of a series about my early choices in life which have gotten me to where I am today. If you're intere…