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Feel Old?

How to not feel old when anonymous in the middle of a party... Well, basically... I don't know. Why? Because that's precisely how I felt when I was at a party a couple of hours back. I felt really old not only because of the fact that it was a dance party, and that the beer I like the most to drink was for old people (San Miguel Super Dry) and wasn't being sold -- but more because I felt really old compared to all the young ladies flaunting their bodies and rubbing theirs with mine. I simply felt too old for the nightlife that young people (or someone I used to be) really wanted every week. People mostly in the good young years of college life want to drink, get drunk, get a gorgeous partner, have fun (or more fun than what's already offered), and live to drink another day.

However, I felt old and held back -- mainly because I should be in the office by 8 am, at school by 10 am, spending the day at the mall by 3 pm, and having fun with my older cousins during the wee hours of the night. Now I was surrounded by young ladies, most of whom seemed available and fun loving, and all I can think of is how do i finish the beer I don't really like to drink (San Mig Light). A cigarette should make me feel a little better, but even that made me feel old.

I merely stared at the girating bodies, and held my seat at the bar. I could have waited a little later for some of the girls to settle down at the bar, and picked up a conversation with one of the hotties, but the music was dance -- and too loud to make conversation with. I could've chosen to dance, but then I didn't feel like dancing with the bad beer in my belly and the taste of it at my throat. Maybe if I came to the party with at least one guy friend also looking for a good time, then things could've looked a lot better. But alas, I FELT OLD.

So I picked myself up, emptied my bladder, and then bid goodbye to the person I bought the ticket from. She seemed a nice girl, and a conversation with her could've made the night a little more enjoyable. But she was manning the door, and I couldn't wait for her another hour or so of feeling old and alone. Maybe if I only talked to my guy friend who knew a couple of girls (actually from the sorority affiliated with the fraternity which sponsored the party) to actually hook me up with one or a couple of girls then the night could have turned out differently.

What could be possibly wrong with me? I intend to find out, when I go out again tonight with my cousins to a guy's night out. Hopefully I get some answers and redeem myself from the sucky party that I got myself into a couple of hours ago. Heck, the next time I got to a party, I'll make sure that I go alone to a party which I want to be in, and not just buy the ticket from a classmate that looked great and seemed very enticing.

Either that, or I go with a couple of friends and have a nice time with friends. OR, I enjoy anyway I can drinking the beer that I want to drink, and dancing to the tunes that are worth dancing too.

I NEED TO BE CHILLED.

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