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Hung Over, Tired, Pressured, and Resting...

Basically, having things needed ASAP and things happening out of the blue, and people around you needing help leaves you in a state of FATIGUE. However, the things you like to do the most and the things you usually do the most tend to normalize your condition as time goes by. I think it has something to do with being able to cope with the things happening around you, and being able to put things into perspective.

My study on Parallel Computing and Load Balancing is getting to a point where the results speak for themselves, but the language the results use are not the same as what I use. It would be nice if someone else had input regarding WHY the control results do not follow the trends that have been implied when using an automatic load balancing (or automatic scheduling) approach. The WHY is something I have to explain, which adds more pressure on me and my paper.

As for the paper, the introduction is growing quite long already, especially in the area where I get to talk about the different Beowulf cluster setups and implementations. I'd need to cite a lot of resources, and OpenOffice isn't cooperating -- I really would appreciate an automatic Bibliography builder, or quoting mechanism that will allow me to just copy paste and quote at the same time. Aside from that, more relevant literature (preferrably on paper) would most be appreciated. I sure wish I could be able to dedicate a week on reading papers and studies from real libraries, or online libraries that offer access to the abstracts of people's studies. I sure wish the ACM Portal subscription price wasn't too much to pay for doing research.

I've been helping my friend do his thesis on cacheing metrics, with regards to Distributed File Systems (DFS) more specifically CODA. I'm helping him in the design and implementation of the servers and clients he needs to accomplish what he's out to accomplish. The guy is doing his Masters Thesis, and I (an undergrad) am helping him do it. It kinda makes me feel good that I can actually relate to what he's actually doing, but at the same time it makes me wonder why I seem to feel stuck at what I know now.

An implementation of the AVL trees (Balanced Binary Search Trees) is looming over me, as there is just a week more of development to go before it has to be presented to our instructor. Aside from that, the integrated online discussion forum is still in the works (am currently upgrading the PHP and Apache installed on my laptop for development purposes). I'm also currently looking into what are the better PHP editors out there -- which offers syntax highlighting and autocompletion -- which are free, or otherwise commercially available (and runs on Linux). The criteria practically narrows down to a couple, but insights would be most appreciated (or more motivation for me would very much help).

And as if I don't have enough problems, I need to get on some romantic relationship ASAP not because I want to, but because I have to. I am feeling too old, and lacking external motivation and inspiration, that it's catching up to me -- it makes me feel inadequate, insecure, and even incompetent. Anyway, that's my problem.

Chill...

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