Skip to main content

+1 For Me

I am 1 year older today -- and I must say, it's been a long ways away from where I was last year. Last year I was living with my cousin and a couple of housemates -- now I'm alone in a rented unit here in Makati. Last year I was having issues with being lost, now I'm enjoying the fact that I've seen the light -- and try to do my best and live a Christian life. Issues I was dealing with last year were different but there's one recurring issue that I see myself dealing with for the next few years: a lifelong partner.

See, I never really thought about it, but now I miss being cared for and caring for someone. I've had my fun yes, and a great relationship with someone I can relate to recently -- but I don't want to spend my days alone and not be able to feel how my father felt when I was born and while I continue growing and getting older. I want to feel what it feels like to stand in front of a crowd and profess my undying love for someone too.

Yeah yeah, here's me getting sentimental again but I just cant help aging 1 more year, and not having someone to actually spend my days with. Then I guess the Lord is asking me to do something again, and let go of a few things so that I gain that again. Maybe I just have to step out of my comfort zone again, and trust Him more. At any rate, I know I have to do something about it, and it seems like the only missing piece right now in my life.

Though I'm reaching my goals with the help of friends, family, and the Lord, I need to find that someone to spend the rest of my life with on my own. I think I know who she is, but she's half the world away -- which might mean I need to go there to follow my heart, but that's a leap of faith I cannot muster the strength for just yet. I don't even know if she will want to spend the rest of her days with me, so it's not only a leap of faith it's a big risk of falling flat on my face again.

I think I can take that, but then today is about celebrating the past year and what I have become from then to now. So enough with the sob stories, I'll have a blast tonight and this weekend among friends and family.

CHill!

Comments

  1. Happy Birthday, Dean! Careful with the cake: just looking at it is starting to give me a coronary.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Dom! Nope, don't worry -- Cakes were meant to be shared. :)

    Thanks for dropping a line!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

From FOMO to JOMO

Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I

Reconnecting with people

2021 started with a a good sense of connection for me, having spent time with friends and family in a simple celebration of the oncoming year. The transition from 2020 to 2021 and being able to look back at a good part of my recent history got me thinking about how life has been for me and the family for the past decade. There’ve been a lot of people that I’ve met and become friends with while there are those that I’ve left behind and lost touch with. There’s a saying about treating old friends different from new ones, which I do appreciate now that I’m a bit older. It also means that my relationships with people that I get to spend a good amount of time with take a different shape. This reflection has given me some time and space to think about what it means to reconnect with people. Friends are the family we choose ourselves. — Edna Buchman I have the privilege of having life-long friends that I don’t always stay in regular contact with. From my perspective, if I consider you a frien