Skip to main content

When Things Aren't Going Your Way

You find a distraction. For some people that's work. For some people that's a movie alone. For some people there's a hobby, a vice, a routine. You need something which would change your current mood. For me, that's talking to people dear to me, connecting with friends, and just stopping whatever I'm doing to "smell the roses" and be able to connect.

Right now I'm going through the usual "month before my birthday" blues, when I look at my life and see myself no better than I was the year before. I see how far I've gone, how much I've improved, and how much I still have to go through. I see how my life has gone and whether I like what I currently am.

This year, I'm sad. I'm sad not because I haven't met my targets -- but that I've met them and exceeded them, that I'm sad I don't give myself enough credit for what I'm worth. I'm sad that I actually underestimate myself most of the time. Though I feel like every milestone I've set for myself I've already reached thus far -- and that I'm on track with my long term plans -- I am sad.

Yesterday was one of the worst days for me. Things were not going my way, and I'm not used to it. And then someone reminded me that I'm not meant to take control of whatever I do -- that there's a Higher Power who's already determined my life for me. I should go get back to surrendering -- life back then was way simpler, when I didn't try to take control of my life.

It might just be that I'm looking at my life more and am supposed to feel happy. But somehow, getting to where I'm at right now doesn't bring me the same joy I thought I'd feel. Maybe that's why I'm sad: that I'm not feeling what I expect to be feeling when I get here. I looked forward to being in this situation, but now I'm here I'm going "now what?" yet again.

I know I'm missing something, and I think I know what that is -- or who that is -- and I ought to do something about it.

Here I am Lord... Where to now?

CHill.

Comments

  1. your words.. found me at ease with myself. It was like.. someone had creeped into my brain and wrote out exactly what I had been thinking for the last few months.

    This is an old post, (almost a year now) but I found it today.. yay for me. My 30th birthday is in a month, and reading your post made me feel better.. even if it's just for today. thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Here I am infront of a computer thinking which direction to take or what to do then i came across your article and then I realized that I beat myself alot.i totally agree that we need to surrender to the unknown n not try to control everything. thnks

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dean!
    I typed your title of this blog in Google and found this post.
    You know, trying to take control of things is so hard because we're not in control of circumstances, God is.
    We can have the faith and pursue things but we're always going to face opposition and change. We must choose to be content at whatever state that we are at.

    There is a popular Serenity prayer that says,
    Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    As a follower of Jesus Christ, what I've discovered is when we face these times when stuff is not going the way we think they should, this is a test of faith.

    But this also presents an opportunity for us to get more informed about what and how we’re going about things.

    We have to reevaluate and take a step back and see what’s going on here. I believe some things we desire to finish are for certain seasons. We just have to be discerning enough of the particular time and season for completing whatever it is that we’re aiming for.

    We shouldn’t try to force things but always pray and ask God what's up with the opposition. He'll usually reveal what it is that's hindering the progress.

    So in essence, we should draw to God and get in tune with him and not miss a bigger picture of something by trying to force our own way.

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:5,6

    Humbly yours,
    Quamon Fowler aka TeXas10er

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Futures and Options III: Economics, Journalism, or Computer Science

I realise it's been a year since my previous post on this blog, and I've found myself having very little time to do another "brain dump" on the subject of my early choices in life. With that in mind (and as I'll be traveling again soon) I get to think a little more and reflect on a few of the things that have happened.

Much like the previous post, this one's set in high school -- where I was part of the swimming team, in a band, had been programming with Turbo Pascal, Java, and then C++ later on, and was about to make a choice that would literally change the course of my life. This one is about the choices I made, and the ones that were made for me.

Note: This is part 3 of a series about my early choices in life which have gotten me to where I am today. I would greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts, as well as for your reading through this series!


Rant: Despair and Hopelessness

This weekend I had the chance to do a Google+ hangout with my father in the Philippines. He and I don't talk often but we do have a very good relationship. My dad is cool like that. In this hangout we talked about a few things happening in the Philippines and I've gotten the feeling that my homeland is getting ever deeper into economic disrepair, and that the politics to which I've come to be hopeless on is beyond repair. I've wanted to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for a while now, so if you would indulge me please read on.

Background

I grew up in a part of the Philippines where the land is fertile, there are thriving industries, and there's a certain sense of abundance and stability. This part of the Philippines has good schools, good employment opportunities (mostly industrial and service industries), good investment opportunities (real-estate and agricultural), and good potential for growth. This was true when I was young and this is tr…

Get a Life Coach

Have you ever played a sport whether individual or team sports where your top performance was required for any measure of success? If you have, you may have had the benefit of at least one coach guiding you to point out better form, better strategies, alternative approaches, keeping you accountable, identifying our strengths and weaknesses, and overall telling you to listen to your body and focus on your goals. If you haven't then would you like to have someone on your side, not judging you then generally cheering you on while you attempt to achieve whatever your goals are? For the past year I've been working with a life coach and I can say it's worked so well for me that I cannot help but recommend everyone consider investing in life coaching.

I used to swim back when I was a student in university as part of the varsity team. I had a number of coaches then who taught me not just the technical aspects of swimming, but also the mental fortitude required to train effectively…