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free...

i cant remember the last time i have felt so free, and unattached. although i long for a partner to share me and my life with, there is nothing like the feeling of freedom.

ask any person who just got out of jail, the first thing they want to enjoy (besides either revenge, or sex...) is most probably their new found freedom. not that i would know because i havent been (and dont plan to ever be) in jail. but nonetheless, anybody should be able to enjoy their freedom - for we must all be free from any burden or confinement of unfair standards. i didnt think that made much sense, but it sounded good to me, so what the heck. ;-)

so why am i feeling this? i have no idea why. but then after celebrating my birthday, i suddenly felt that 'hey, im one year older, and free!' feeling upon hitting the sack, and it stuck until today.

i just hope this feeling is a nonsense induced by natural highs from playing neverwinter nights or warcraft III, and _natural_ highs from marlboro lights (gold) and coffee... because then i know it would pass, and that it is the effect or offshoot of some previous action. but if this is a permanent thing, or at least long term ordeal, then i am thankful that it came in the right time of my life. just when i thought that i would be forever doomed by that gloomy cloud shadowing over me, and the imaginary man always looking over my shoulder, lady life smiles and gives me a much needed kiss of life... of course, this is figurative - although i would love it if it were literal... ;-)

nonetheless, you should try this feeling - it feels so free. the first thing i suggest you do, is stop doing the things you dont like to do - if you can affort to. and then, the next would be to indulge in a hobby, spare time activities, and not be sedentary. then sooner or later, you'll realize that there's more to life than frikin standards, expectations, and false hopes - and find that fun, enjoyment, indulgence, passion, and the like are so much better than gloom, depression, and sadness. trust me, they are.

or, dont take my word for it, and try it out. and if you think otherwise, plaease email me. hehehe. =)

till next time! chill ya'll...

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