Skip to main content

Finals...

A while earlier, I took the final exam for CMSC 150 at the Institute of Computer Science in UPLB. I've taken it a year ago, and failed miserably. And that might just happen again since I didn't have 1 sure answer in the 50 item multiple choice exam. I didn't study and I will deserve whatever grade I have, but I'm thinking "oh no, what about my varsity membership? how about the SCUAA?!"

That exam was really something else. It was supposed to test your understanding and mastery of the concepts. I know half of that I learned from CMSC 150, and I could even explain them to you. However, if you put it in writing and ask me "Which among these statements are true about LU Decomposition?" -- then I'll start having a problem. I can't complain because I didn't study (at all) but I know I could have done so much better. I just hope my lab instructer will allow me to do extra work to catch up for the passing grade -- I have a bad feeling that the lecture grade will be so close to 0% that I would need a miracle to get to 55% (the passing grade).

All of this due to my delinquency and complancency -- and this weird feeling of nonchelant and "I-don't-care-if-I-flunk-again". Although I won't be able to join the varsity for the SCUAA, I could still continue my training -- but it would be a pointless training since I won't be able to compete anyway. And I should say goodbye to the jacket too and the imprint of "UPLB ST" on my swim gear. I'm starting to feel that sinking feeling now that I think I'll take out my frustration on my laptop and start coding on something ASAP. OR, I might take it out on coding on our project before Sunday comes and we actually finish the thing.

Or, I could take out my frustration by hooking up with someone at Puerto Galera by Monday night and have mindless sex with a complete stranger and worry about life the next day. I could even write about it, and have the whole world read about what happens when I go to Puerto Galera (or some remote beach resort) in a sucky mood (no pun intended).

I could call my best friend and complain all I want, but I doubt that would be productive. Or I could call up my teacher next week and talk to him regarding my standing. OR, I could just write about myself on this website of mine and vent all my frustrations here. Oh, yes you're reading, and I'm sorry if I'm sounding hysterical right now -- while I'm writing this, I am as sober as water in a glass.

Aside from praying (which I have been doing for the past few days), and trying to remember what I should be doing, I have been doing a lot of contemplating and relaxation. I've told the truth to a lot of people, and I feel free. Except for that friggin' finals exam. I don't know if the teacher really wants the majority of the class to fail, or we all cannot just understand whatever he's teaching. It's either HE's the problem or HE has a problem. Or it might be me, but we all know that this time, it's my fault.

So I'll let the world know how my life plays out by the official end of this semester, and what I'll plan to do when things don't turn out my way. I definitely will share with the world how happy I'll be when a miracle happens and I actually pass the F'in course.

I NEED to Chill...

Comments

  1. germaineMonday, October 18, 2004 11:27:00 AM

    c mercado ba yan? kung sya yan, then wag ka magalala, sya nga yung problema. hehehee. old exam lng yan! ^_^

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

From FOMO to JOMO

Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or
2 comments
Read more

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I
6 comments
Read more

Reconnecting with people

2021 started with a a good sense of connection for me, having spent time with friends and family in a simple celebration of the oncoming year. The transition from 2020 to 2021 and being able to look back at a good part of my recent history got me thinking about how life has been for me and the family for the past decade. There’ve been a lot of people that I’ve met and become friends with while there are those that I’ve left behind and lost touch with. There’s a saying about treating old friends different from new ones, which I do appreciate now that I’m a bit older. It also means that my relationships with people that I get to spend a good amount of time with take a different shape. This reflection has given me some time and space to think about what it means to reconnect with people. Friends are the family we choose ourselves. — Edna Buchman I have the privilege of having life-long friends that I don’t always stay in regular contact with. From my perspective, if I consider you a frien
Post a Comment
Read more