Skip to main content

Oh what the heck...

I'm stuck here at home for a good week or so, and all I do is hole myself up in my den, and hack away at something really interesting to me. I mean, I know I should get a life, but the life I want to live is at the other side of the world! I want to live in a place where everybody is different, individualism rules, and the population is diverse. Here in where I live, the population's more or less made up by only three kinds of people -- those who care but know nothing, those who don't care but know a lot, and those who would care less about anything. I mean come on, I know you have something better to do than lie around or sit around doing nothing? err, maybe aside from smoking?

I live in Calauan, Laguna -- a place stuck in the 70's where the only semblances of modern living are the cars that pass by the street, the telephone service that absolutely sucks, and maybe a few computer shops in the poblacion. I am stuck in an environment where stagnation is a way of life. and when you're stagnant, you survive here. This place is like the breeding ground for corrupt officials of our generation -- where you see small groups of people drinking during Sunday, and young kids doing nothing useful with their time.

Right now in Calauan, I might be the only person awake writing about his experiences and his dreams and planning his life out while doing something 20 years ahead of what everybody else is doing. Maybe some are getting their carnal desires fulfilled once, twice, or even more for the day and I envy them. Not that I don't get mine fulfilled, but because they live in a world where everything is dumbed down and stagnant -- while I on the other hand am standing at the edge, waiting for something big to happen to this small town that we have.

The town is being engulfed by the surrounding towns that are either becoming cities or getting at least twice more activity than what we have here. If you want an escape from the hustle and bustle of city living? Don't go here -- try a week here, and you'll definitely rot. Or worse, you might actually like it and contribute to the stagnation that is already prominent here.

Across the street, and smack in the view of my window from this den, is a "hobby" centre -- where you can play billiards, gamble, maybe play a couple of rounds on the video arcade, and waste your time instead of doing something productive with your life. I see young children, teens, and worse adults packing the place day in and day out. If it's a consolation, they close at around 12 midnight. I care not about what they do, it's what they don't do that concerns me. Instead of working, or even studying for the children, they stagnate with the adults that tolerate this practice. Now it leads me to thinking, what is going on here?

Here I am, a tech geek, doing research to further my own and the collective knowledge of the world, seeking knowledge to amass and learn as well as share with others, and then I see others stagnating. What's more frustrating than that? My parents won't let me get away from this stagnation all around me, and it plainly sucks. I don't blame them though, they have no plans of getting away from the stagnation that I so dearly despise.

So what could save me? A job? Far from it. My parents won't let me work for others while I'm studying. Studies? Of course, but I'd still HAVE to go back home, where stagnation is a norm. An escape? YES. It is most appreciated. However, after that I'll be home with stagnation all around me. That's how bad stagnation is, and lucky are those able to get out of this "twilight zone" called Calauan. I envy my relatives in other parts of the world where they progress and live interesting and full lives while here, it seems that a warlock has cast a stasis spell on the town.

I have no plans of convincing others to stop stagnating -- it's not my problem anymore. But what I would like to be able to do is be the best I can be, so that their stagnation would be improved by me. Hope that makes sense.

just chillin'...


Popular posts from this blog


Until very recently I believed that I needed to be on top of the latest news and happenings not only in my field (computer science and software engineering) but also in as many things as I can be on top of. This meant subscribing to all sorts of magazines, newsletters, YouTube channels, Twitch streamers, watching TV and live sport events, etc. — I was on top of a lot of the latest happenings, trends, news, interesting developments. I was having fun and I felt busy. What I did not feel was particularly effective nor productive. I felt like I was consuming so much information with the thought that it might be useful someday. When I was younger this wouldn’t have been an issue but I realised that ever since I’ve started taking stock of what I’ve been spending my time on, that a lot of it I’ve been spending just staying on top of things that I really didn’t need to be on top of. This article is about some of the realisations I’ve made in the course of exploring this issue of “FOMO” or

Appreciating Rizal...

Nope, this is not an academic post. More of a reflective and wrote-because-i-was-enlightened type post. Anyway, I just passed a paper on Rizal's notion of a nation according to Quibuyen (a local writer who devoted a book -- A Nation Aborted -- on his treatise on Rizal). Chapter 6 was an interesting read, and a definite eye opener. Rizal all of a sudden became interesting, especially to someone like me who could care less. It seems that most of what Rizal aims for and wrote about is still evident in today's Philippines as I see it. I wonder why I didn't get to appreciate Rizal and his work when I was still in high school -- might be the fault of the high school and the curriculum, or might be because I was still considerably immature then. I wasn't able to understand most of Rizal's writings though even if I got to reading them basically because they translated from Spanish to Filipino/Tagalog. I don't have problems with Tagalog, until you put it in writing. I

Reconnecting with people

2021 started with a a good sense of connection for me, having spent time with friends and family in a simple celebration of the oncoming year. The transition from 2020 to 2021 and being able to look back at a good part of my recent history got me thinking about how life has been for me and the family for the past decade. There’ve been a lot of people that I’ve met and become friends with while there are those that I’ve left behind and lost touch with. There’s a saying about treating old friends different from new ones, which I do appreciate now that I’m a bit older. It also means that my relationships with people that I get to spend a good amount of time with take a different shape. This reflection has given me some time and space to think about what it means to reconnect with people. Friends are the family we choose ourselves. — Edna Buchman I have the privilege of having life-long friends that I don’t always stay in regular contact with. From my perspective, if I consider you a frien